Poll: How should I surprise my Girlfriend?
Poll Options
View poll results: How should I surprise my Girlfriend?
Kick her in the face and tell her...
1 14%
Organize a surprise party...
1 14%
Decide not to tell her and let her find out for herself...
3 43%
Write a cute song :)...
1 14%
Voters: 7.
#1
Alright, three weeks ago my girlfriend and I had an argument over whether or not women should vote, I being the logical one obviously said no. Later that night before we went to bed, I decided that she should be punished for her insolence, so I dropped a couple roofies into her water (no woman has the right to argue my opinions). So, after she fell asleep I proceeded to have unprotected sex with her limp body, I figured the best way to show her who is boss is to impregnate her (genius, I know). Well, last night I drugged her again and did a home pregnancy test, she tested positive . Now all of this is fine and dandy, BUT I have no idea how to surprise her with the great news that she is pregnant, any ideas??
Thanks for your time.
#4
Quote by K_Parker
Alright, three weeks ago my girlfriend and I had an argument over whether or not women should vote, I being the logical one obviously said no. Later that night before we went to bed, I decided that she should be punished for her insolence, so I dropped a couple roofies into her water (no woman has the right to argue my opinions). So, after she fell asleep I proceeded to have unprotected sex with her limp body, I figured the best way to show her who is boss is to impregnate her (genius, I know). Well, last night I drugged her again and did a home pregnancy test, she tested positive . Now all of this is fine and dandy, BUT I have no idea how to surprise her with the great news that she is pregnant, any ideas??
Thanks for your time.


Dont tell her.

Once she realises, accuse her of cheating.

Then you have full rights to kill her.

Necrophillia ensues.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#5
You should jump off a cliff.
Leave a poem.
Tell UG you're joking or you're a sick ****.

You have just commited rape.
Calls 911.
#9
...eff?!?!?!?!!?
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#11
You dont need to tell her...just punch her in the uterus over and over and everything will be ok...
people with large sig's are clearly compensating for something.