#1
Hey everyone,
I'm in a band with a friend of mine, just the two of us, and we jam and record things together for fun. Theres a new song called "Pack My Bags Up" uploaded, just recorded today, and Im truelly happy and proud of it. Keep in mind we're two highschoolers, without access to a professional studio. PLease let me know what you think, and if you have something for me to hear, Ill return the favor

Nick

www.myspace.com/onwilshire
#2
that is without doubt one of the best tunes i've heard from a new band in ****ing ages. Give yourselves a massive pat on the back and use it to promote yourselves with.
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#4
I'm really enjoying this. You guys are really solid, and your vocalist is pretty damn awesome.
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#5
intro with the mutes was awkward. great guitar melodies. vocals were very good, but could really come up in the mix. the chorus was catchy as hell. for some reason, i got a very southern rock/country feel to this. have i mentioned how great the chorus is?

writing was pretty good as well, i didn't really care for the the "my oh my" bits, but that's just a minor thing...

good stuff. drums were good as well...i wish i had a drummer.


crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=860129
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#6
Wow, you guys are good. I sort of dig the southern flavored indie sound. I know a couple of bands that do this like you guys and I've always liked the sound.

I was a little scared it was turning into country early on, but then it turns out to really rock.

The vocals are good and will sound better in a studio. I'm impressed you made it sound as good as you did.

The guitar part around the 1:00 mark that is 100% panned right is painfully awkward sounding. I couldn't wait for the rest of the instruments to kick back in. Thats the only thing I would change.

I hope you're trying to get yourselves out there. Keep this up and we will be hearing you on the radio someday.

Check mine out? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=861993


Oh, and the Takers is a really good song, too. You need to go back and work on it to make it sound as good as this one, though.
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#7
I took both of you guys advice, i went back, boosted the vocals, cleaned up the intro, and unpanned that one part. Thanks for your invaluable advice.

nick
#8
this is a legit song! it sounds pretty professional. I don't really have any advice because i think its good as it is!
#10
Hey thanks for the crit. I'd love to crit yours, but the song is not up on your myspace thing. Send me a PM when you get it up and I'll definitely take a listen
#11
Yeah, im sorry about that guys. I went and made a few mixing changes, and uploaded the new version. Much to my dismay, myspace decided to take 22 hours to upload it.
#12
i listened to the new mix. good job man. this sounds really good.
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#13
That's really good. If I had a non-band myspace, I'd download it.

Sounds really good, guitar work and vocals especially.
#14
yeah wow, u guys have a great mixture there, so many awsome elements, its a song i'd like to hear on the radio, what else to say... yeh Candle Fields is forkin great!
#16
candle fields is cool, kind of haunting, good
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#17
Hey man, good to see you got your song up.

I'll crit as I listen.

I really like the guitar tone. It sounded really good when the guitars came flooding in in the beginning. The singing isn't too bad at all really. It's a little bit quiet I think, and I'd think it'd benefit from being a little bit up there in the mix. But the vocals are really nice. The drums sound pretty good too. I always respect people who actually use real drums, as opposed to all my songs that just have loops and things. I think everything sounds really good.

Honestly I have no criticisms. Really cool song you have there. Great tone and recording quality. I know it's far from professional quality recording, but I'm sure your budget is far from a professionals. I think it sounds great for what you're working with. Just got to the ending, and I think it ended really cool.

Good work man.
#18
Wow, this is one of the best songs I've heard on UG. Incredible job. I disagree with Chris saying that the intro was awkward, it was one of my favorite parts. I love the instrumental breakdown portions too. I think what I liked most about the song is how original it was. I don't think anyone else could mix indie with a little county, not to mention make it sound amazing. I'd love to hear more stuff like this.
#19
type as i listen:

cool intro, very catchy actually.

vocals are top notch!! very well done

the way the guy says "way" at 41 or so is pretty cool (i dont know why i put that lol)

transition type riff is pretty cool. but it was a build up to nowhere :-[ this was like at 1:10, i was expecting the drums to kick in with the guitar, but it did not :-[

awesome chorus. very catchy and original (pack my bags up was quite cool)

ya u didnt do the build up to nowhere again. i was hoping you wouldnt, and u didnt, so well done :-D

this song has a very good structure, quite different than most type of songs like this, which is what makes it original and memorable :-D

pretty cool solo part, i could see a person leaving the countryside and saying his goodbyes.

overall, awesome job!

cfc? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=864447

edit- the only complaint is that there a few pitch issues with the vocals
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Last edited by The2abraxis at May 21, 2008,
#20
dude that is actually a really good rock song, but i the singing needs a better mic or recording, its good singing, that song probably has potential though, its great
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#21
Intro is great, short but sweet. Vocals are sweet, lyrics could use some work in the first verse. Great transition to the chorus, which is ****ing awesome. Great vocals here, very catchy and just awesome. Still not digging the "my oh my what a beautiful and pleasant surprise" in the second verse but its no biggy. End of second chorus, cool keyboard thing and nice guitar solo. Cool far-away effect thingy before the third chorus. Drum change is cool. I think it would be cool if it ended with "PACK MY BAGS UP!" instead of the strumming thing. Awesome song overall, very good stuff. Work on getting a bass player and you'll be set.
#22
That was cool. Nice vocals and catchy melodies.

I will leave your page up and listen to the rest of the songs.

Get yourself out there! you're very good

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#24
That is great man. I would be proud of this one too. Keep pumping out songs like that and youll go somewhere. Great voice, i just got to the chorus. Someone would have to kick my nuts for me to reach those notes

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#25
Pack Your Bags Up- Sounds good. Like a mix of My Morning Jacket and Boston, w/some straight up country stylings.

The Takers-Killer intro and pretty good song. The song starts to meander at around the 3:30 mark. I don't think anything after the stop is necessary. Also it seemed like the vocals were strained a bit. Maybe a tune down is in order.

I like the sound of your band. Don't be afraid to include anything and everything sylistically together, which you fellas don't seem to have an issue with.

EDIT: I had to come back after listening to the rest

The Candle Fields-Just nice. Most albums need a song like this

Losing Time-It rocks, I could hear it on the radio in 1993

Sky In Fire-Not a bad song. Not my style, but it's still a pretty good tune.

Ignite-Again, not my favorite style, but this is just a good tune here.

It's clear you put some thought into your music. That's a great thing, esp since you are young. Most younguns music is about as unimaginative as can be, but the arrangements, while shaky in spots, are never not interesting.
Last edited by MAYNARD at Jun 2, 2008,
#26
I read some of the replies before posting. I really like your intro. My kind of music. Vocals are clear and confident. Guitar is nicely done. Really good! This is a very well written song. Crumbs I'm impressed. Very well done. I love the last bit when you sing the higher harmony. I really good! So much potental! It sounds so classic yet so original! Sounds like an anthem of a generation. You guys will go far if you keep this up and have some luck. Tell you what, i actually want to re-record this for you guys. Can I be your overseas bass player? Lmao. Cor well done. Well done. So catchy and rockin! Sounds pop punky but a bit more folky.

Can you please check out my new song?? I really want your opinion. Keep this kind of music up. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=874046
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