#1
Some kind of metal song i made today.
Been away from UG along time now, and now im back with this ****!
My computer is ****ed, so i havent adjusted it for RSE.

And yea, Crit 4 Crit baby!

EDIT: New file, Just a few minor chages, and enhcanced playebility (Better fingering).
Attachments:
Metal Song.zip
Last edited by psychotim at May 18, 2008,
#3
The drums seemed a bit overdone if you ask me, it might just be your style, but I thought some of the time it would have been niced if you simplified them a bit.

The breakdown at first listen seemed kind of average but after a few more listens it started to fit, I think you could work on it though, it doesn't really compliment the song to well.

The solo needs alot of work imo, I got really bored of it after a while, it seems really repetitive. Maybe shorten it, or just add more contrast, dynamics, rhythm, whatever, after to long it just seems to be forced that's all.

As for positive things, I really like the intro riff, as simple as it may be. It possibly could have been halfed in length though, I can easily listen to it at the length it is, but if a listener is exposed to a fairly repetitive riff that long, they will probably get bored of the song faster.

The chorus has a nice melody, it seems to be the most thought out part in the song. And the same applies to the interlude.

The repeat of the intro with the lead guitar over the top is good. The lead guitar doesn't get boring at all, and you made good use of rests in bars 109-116 .

Overall pretty good, just some things seemed unnecessary, or to go on to long.
#4
About the solo. I know it may be a little repetitive, and i may change that.
It was just that it was so easy and fun to make a solo over that riff, i just couldnt end it.
Usualy i like to change the backing track a little to make contrast, but this time it just seamd to work for me.

The intro is long cause the drums keep building up behind it, and i like that kind of stuff. Like the Pre-solo is long for the lead to build up.

Anyways, thanks for the crit. If theres anything you want me to crit, just leave a link.
#5
No lol, don't change the solo, it was...superb.

i really enjoyed listening to this.

leadwork was catchy, and the solos were brilliant

the only thing i could think of saying is doing something about the backing behind the solos. it felt a bit empty, didn't have a fullness, but thats probably just the midi.

i really liked this song, 10/10

thinking about learning some of it :P

(don't worry i wouldn't dream of stealing any of it though)
#6
I have changed the solo, minor change, but yet very importante change to the repetitivety.

Well, im flaterd that you wanna learn my songs, thats just awsome.

And steeling, isnt there some kind of copyright thing here when you post? Anyways, it is dated, so if someone where to steel anything from anybody i dont think they would have had any chance at winning in court.
#7
I know your solo through out the song is repetitive. But its Excellent, Intro is in my opinion annoying cause of how easy it is... I wouldn't worry about it being repetitive cause you'll have vocals. So with this powerful song there shouldn't be a problem. Unless you make it a problem... I think its best to leave it alone Solo is alright but it bothers me that the solo is revolved around your intro because of that annoying E note at bar 4. That note goes into the solo and it ruins it a bit. Because of the easyness of your intro... Because of your repetitive lead its a great song. Just i worry about your intro and that E note

c4c Catchy Song please
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#8
Okay I've tried posting 5 times and it's frozen so I've cut it down, and am praying this will post. If not I am worried I will punch my computer.

I checked out the piece again, and I'm not sure you've added it with the edited solo, but the second half to me still seems to much. It's a decent solo but I just get really bored. Mind you everyone else seems to love it, but to me it seems pretty amatuer compared to the rest of the piece.

In reply to Jonothan Trejo, I think the start is good irrelevant of simplicity. Simplicity shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, some of my fav riffs/solos/melodies/whatever are simple.

And about the length of the intro, I realise you were building it up with drums, but I think most people would get bored of it after listening to the song a few times. And I'm also not to sure listeners would pick up on the changes as they are quite subtle, you might want to make them a bit more extravagant.

And I don't have any pieces on here for crit atm, but I have one I might put on sometime. I write crappy metalcore so you probably won't like (I've been trying other stuff, but I'm just no good at it). Will tell you if/when I've put it on though.
Last edited by Regression at May 19, 2008,
#9
Damn computers, always something wrong with them!

The changes i made was very minor, ive done some more changes since last update too, but this time only a few slides, so i wont be reposting it. Changes was mostly fingering positions as they were a little clumpsy in the chorus before.

I will not be rewritting the solo to get more dynamics and what not. I feel the solo is very suitable to the song as it is. And i realise that it is pretty basic with almost only using pentatonic scales over the same rhythm and progression, but thats just how i like it (in this song).

This song was inspired from a song called "I Never Wanted" by "As I Lay Dying", I just love that song, It is very simple and is repeted a million times, and i just never get tierd of it.

Metalcore is my thing, Its the kind of music i listen to the most, so thats fine with me, just PM me when you put it out and ill crit as fast as i can.

And JT, the solo does not revolve around the intro, but the pre-solo. So the E your talking about, is that the bass notes?
#10
Okay then, as long as you're happy with it.

I havn't heard that song, but I really like As I Lay Dyings stuff in general.

None the less some great melodies in this. Good stuff.
#11
Nope the E im talking about is very predictable in your intro and in your solo. Its at bar 4 and its written on the first guitar track like this.
7
0
/
/
/

Later during the solo u use the same predictable E note at bar 63, Witch i think is a little predictable lol . Great solo by the way except that little part
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#12
Critting as I'm listening.

I don't quite like the intro, but damn did the verse got me. The guitar was cool there, but I especially liked the faint organ in the background. Though, I think the drums could've been better.

The chorus was also cool, though a bit metalcore-ish (nothing wrong with that, just that metalcore's not my thing ). The lead was perfect imo.

Loved the drums at the pre-solo. Those thirty-second kick always gets me . The build up there was cool, but somehow I felt it to be too quick. I'd make it a bit longer, as in 8 bar for the single guitar, and 8 bar for the harmony, you know, so that the listener would just be begging for a solo .

The solo is by no mean repetitive. Though it is linear, so of course people would get that impression. I loved your phrasing, though . Ms 51 and 52 I think would be better if you play it an octave higher. But, you know, you don't have to wank for the whole duration of the solo. You could've made it more melodic . But still, it was a good solo.

The verse after that, dunno, it kinda felt unsynchronized. I think you might want to change the drum there, and give it some lead. Y'know, playing the melody of the solo, but slower or something.

The rhythm in the breakdown could be better, imo. Idk, I prefer if you played it palm-muted, and picked in sixteenth notes. But that's just me, so yeah . Oh, and I think it's too short, it's like appearing out of nowhere and disappearing as fast. Idk, breakdowns usually last longer, don't they?

Wow, the intro at the end (lol oxymoron) was great. Now that's the kind of thing I talked about that should be in the solo! The outro, well, never been a fan of fade-out, so forgive me if I think it's meh.

Overall, it's a nice song. Nothing extraordinary or revolutionary, but hey, who is in this forum? It's a good little piece, though a bit too metalcore-ish (again, not necessarily a bad thing, just not my thing ). You can write good songs, that's for sure, and I can see people enjoying this (hell, I enjoyed it).

Oh, and sorry for the long time for me to crit this back. I had some **** going on right now, so yeah.
#13
Wow, long crit, i like that.
Well, had to add the organ, was so empty without one. And the drums, well i suck at making them, this are the best drums ive ever made IMO.
For me the pre-solo is long enough, i almost feel like its too long. I do not like to drag stuff out. The octave in the solo worked out very nice, so maybe ill change that. The transition to the verse after the solo may be a little rough, so maybe a little fill first or a small riff would fix the unsynchronized thing your talking about. Palm muting the beakdown could work, but 16th notes, nah, i dont think so, that would be to boring IMO. And the length, i dont know, yea they probebly use to be much longer. And the fade out i was thinking about laying a slow solo over it, kinda like the intro solo thing at the end.
#14
Wo I really enjoed to listen to this piece

IN parts:

Intro : I think the idea is quite good , but I'd change the drums it's kind of confusing changing them every two bars , also i would maybe add lead guitar in the intro from bar 9 or something like that to make it less repitive , maybe some harmonics

Verse: like said before the verse is great , i Love bar 18

Chorus: Now in the chorus the lead guitar is really amazing , well developped , a pleasure to listen to , but i would change the base line right here as it get somehow boring as it most of the time doubles the guitars

Pre Solo: wow i reaaly like those lead guitar harmonics it sounds epic , good transition to the solo , but i again don't really like the drums maybe you could change them into a more simple pattern i think less can sometimes be more

Solo : just great , no more words to say , quite neoclassical in my eyes but fits the song very well , in bar 68 i would maybe try a 24 instead of 24 to make it clearer that the solo is over then

break down: for my taste now the guitars are a bit too much , it's just very confusing to listen to it in my eyes

interlude : nothing very special but it's ok no need to change it

Intro :Nice bendings in there like the transitions with the plec harmonic leading to the fade part

Fade: no comment

all in all it's a well developped song , not really my genre though but it very interesting to listen to, the main thing i would criticise are the drums they are just too much in my eyes , but keep that up, it's good

PLease also crit my new Progressive Metal Intro

Greymane
#15
Quote by psychotim

Palm muting the beakdown could work, but 16th notes, nah, i dont think so, that would be to boring IMO.


Nah, man, I meant like gallops or some strange rhythm, you know, 16th-16h-8th, or 8th-8th--4th-16th, whatever, just go crazy . The plain 8th is a bit bland, imo.

The solo was cool, glad to see an extended solo in a song like this.
#16
solid song.
sorry if i can't criticize that much, there's nothing going too much the wrong way though.

the break's coming in too abruptly imo.
and sometimes the drums sounded a bit empty.
but these are the only thing i'd complain about.

the rest of the song was pretty amazing.
i liked the solos. you managed to repeat parts without letting it sound like repetitions.
and the leads were amazing, too. you've done a good job in creating atmosphere.

thumbs up.

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