Hey everyone, I'm new.

Anyone care to help me out in showing me the ropes on UG?

I just joined like an hour ago.
"Oh My God! The shower's seen me naked! What the HELL is it telling the toaster and spoons?! What is this world coming to?"
Hello XAvengedxAngelX!
Welcome to UG

There's already a thread stickied to the top of this forum specifically for introductions like this one. You may want to introduce yourself to the rest of the UG community here as well.

We're glad to have you with us and we hope that you have a great time on UG. Be sure to read the rules and FAQ to avoid confusion and keep the forums as clean as possible.

If you don't quite understand something or have a question that needs to be answered, you're more than welcome to send me a message and I will gladly help you out.
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