#1
Bezique

How do you obey what the children say?
Pedestrians on the skeleton walkway
Am I making another hesitant mistake?
I watch you stutter and shake
There’s more to life than being alive
There’s more to six than five

And we all feel the ending begin
A silent place to sin
A world made just
To get us used to the spin
And take hold
Breathing out to soften the glow
Fire, and let the feeling flow

Why do they run to the light from the dark?
They should know its only A’s and arcs
So don't start
Your watching this to break my heart

Just read between the lines
One part paradise
Two part sacrifice
You are the new vice
Vindictive is a vignette
Of what you are; virago
I want bezique and she wants poker
(And I swear I don’t provoke her)
A new rhyme for the night time
A parting of the truth

It's just a self exploration
Into the darker motivations
Its more practical than patience
And I worry you don't see it

These people aren't mephitic enough
To hate the ‘like’ in love
Aforementioned to the reason above
Because it's better to be battered and bruised, among the neon fuse
Than to run, ripped into two;
Religiously anew
Fake and untrue
Me and not you

So why did you run from the light to the dark
Can't you see this is a specialist art
So don't start
You done all this to break my heart

But why do I speak in crosses in knots
Pretending this isn't what I want
Please don’t stop
Your all that’s keeping the beat in my heart
Keeping the beat in my heart
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#2
some really solid and strong stuff throughout, but I could not help feeling that the rhyming was a little over done. Actually, some of them really threw me off, and had me want to yell at you to change that line. Your ideas are very worthy, and this piece itself has a lot of potiential, just don't be in such a hurry to rhyme with the line before it.
#3
yeah i see what you mean. Im happy with most of it, but a few rhymes are forced in the way they sound. thanks
www.freewebs.com/silentproject