#1
Let me know what you think and any suggestions you may have. Thanks guys!

YOU WERE TOO REAL
we made the sun shine
our hearts beat as one
perfection in human form
but where did it all go?

you were all i could ever want
and i wouldn't want more
but you weren't mine, you weren't mine
i thought i saw you in me and us together
but i wasn't the one you wanted

my world was fake
a replica of glass
it shatters cause it got too real
too real isn't real at all

you were all i could ever want
and i wouldn't want more
but you weren't mine, you weren't mine
i thought i saw you in me and us together
but i wasn't the one you wanted

you made a fool out of me
you don't hurt people
but you hurt me today, hurt me today

if i wanted to be hurt
i would've jumped off a cliff baby
#2
"replica of glass" was a really interesting concept.

I think you need to sort out your flow. IT was here there and everywhere in most places, and for songwriting flow is absolutely everything. Even crappy lyrics can sound good if they flow.

Watch your syllable count, and maybe use rhyme and internal rhyme to create some rhythm. Maybe also keep an eye out for some use metre, too, although that's not necessary. Reading some decent metred poetry can always help as it shows you how flow is really made.

It'd be cool if you could leave a comment back on the link in my sig. Many thanks if you could