#1
Building our cities with castles of sand
Painting our faces with blood from our hands
Decking the halls with the bones from our dead
As blood trickles down from the wounds in our heads
Intelligent minds lay to waste at our feet
As children, dying, now litter the street
The gun in my mouth, cold steel on my breath
As seconds pass by, i feel closer to death
You whisper a prayer in a room plagued by silence
Like the scream of a child in a world plagued with violence
A shot rings out, a loud, killing sound
Your hand still shaking as it dops to the ground
Id rather a hint of steel in my brain
And end it all quickly with limited pain
Then to stand by you, and live a lie
And now i whisper as you say goodbye

"Silence is golden, but death is priceless."
SwordsAndAxesMakeYouAGoodFighter

ButTrustAndLoyaltyMakeYouAGoodFriend.....

#2
good writing
not songy-ish.
or it so could be, just how it is seems more poetic
and i cant stretch my mind far enough as to how it would be sung.
thats just me, it's good over all though.
#3
Thanks!
You're right, it doesn't really look like a song, but i do sing it. Its played really slowly on an acoustic guitar in a minor key so it has a really dark feeling to it, and there is no structure to it, (chorus, bridge, etc) just changes in the chord patterns.
SwordsAndAxesMakeYouAGoodFighter

ButTrustAndLoyaltyMakeYouAGoodFriend.....

#4
i lack music talent
and the ability to make concepts in my head like that
i just write lyrics, haha.
#5
very nice
gave me a very clear picture with out being to straight forward
flowed like a river
#6
thanks!
SwordsAndAxesMakeYouAGoodFighter

ButTrustAndLoyaltyMakeYouAGoodFriend.....