Poll: Who gets the points?
Poll Options
View poll results: Who gets the points?
Red
6 55%
Blue
5 45%
Voters: 11.
#1
reason has no place with us

and now we sit, tainting my favorite cafe.
black coffee and menthols for me,
an oreo shake, extra whip cream for you.

you thoroughly disgust me.

i pretend to watch a happy couple outside,
two ducks strolling down the sidewalk.
but i'm really stealing glances,
gazing into the glass eyes of your reflection.
pouring out longing and desperation,
all the emotions i can't express
to the flesh and blood version
of you.

i tire of loving you, my eyes wander
to my own blank face.
i look so ****ing pretty in darkened reflections.
you can't see the pain that shows
in the light of the day.
if you could see the me in the window,
you'd remember why you used to pray
for the flesh and blood version
of me.

six smashed filters,
four empty cups,
and two shaking hands
are all i've got left
without you.



- if only this table could talk;
it'd probably complain, all those smashed-down
fists and mugs we've cracked.
each a dull thud to us, nothing more than
body language; us the paralinguists.

it's not only the table, though.

I bet the waitress has a thousand stories to tell;
not just our smash-n-grabs
but the other hundred visitors each week.
lone trucker and the one-nighter,
weathergirl and mayor's son.
locusts, the lot of us.
just pests -

- back to me and you;
why don't I get as much intimacy
as the lip of your beer glass?
this mug may have my lipstick on
but not as much as is on your dick;
take that how you want,
you usually do -

- locusts of service stations.
hold up - swig - you haven't done that
since the early days -

- usually just take what you want
and then shut me out.
we're still in the early days -

- the sun hasn't come up above the bridge yet -

- I guess you think we're nearing the end -

- nah. the sun isn't up.
we ain't even started our engines.

#3
Blue, I thought red had a lot of overused words and themes. I couldn't get into it as much.
Drop another coin in the slot, and I will tell you more...
#4
jamie that is definitely my favorite piece i've read from you.
when birds flap their wings do the make believe they're really arms?
#5
Blue by far.

But I think the last stanza is horrendous. Like it almost ruins the piece for me. Those two lines are terrible terrible terrible

Actually, overall, theres a lot in both pieces I despised, such as the asides to the audience in blue and the redolent smell of uncontrolled angst in red (both of which I'm excessively guilty of).

But either way, blue by far.