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#1
i know there have been some funny things said in UG forums so if you think one that youve read is the best, post it here. when you post one make sure it's either a quote or has the user's name before it. (and if a funny quote is in your sig, just post your sig)

i cant remember who said this but one of the funninest things ive heard in UG is this:
"i just dont get what a holy diver is. is it like a lesbian nun?"
#6
One someone told someone to:"Go orally satisfy a herpes ridden mountain goat"
Quote by ElMaco
My last pay check was £0 working 0 hours. I can't believe how easy it was
#7
Quote by metaldud536
"I did it for the lulz"
"Keep walking around tall grass and carry only your strongest pokemon."


Oh crap! It's Metaldud536 with his never ending Pokemon references! Run!
Airship is liek teh best giitar playr evr!!111!1!

Quote by solidgay
Don't use distortion pedals. Just bury your guitar for three weeks, and then dig it up, that should do the job.


^Best Reply Ever!

Quote by imdeth
metaldud damn it I said ignore the penis!
#10
From the sweetest thread.
Quote by Lgndkllr777
This is serious business.
The Internet is serious business.
Please leave serious thread.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#11
Quote by black007hawk2
Oh crap! It's Metaldud536 with his never ending Pokemon references! Run!

lol Actually...I did say that, when one guy said "every dummer he encountered sucked"
#12
Quote by metaldud536
lol Actually...I did say that, when one guy said "every dummer he encountered sucked"


AHHH will you ever stop?!?!?
Airship is liek teh best giitar playr evr!!111!1!

Quote by solidgay
Don't use distortion pedals. Just bury your guitar for three weeks, and then dig it up, that should do the job.


^Best Reply Ever!

Quote by imdeth
metaldud damn it I said ignore the penis!
#13
'I came.'

It makes me cringe...
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#15
rub icy-hot on it...

i think it's pretty funny.


Current Rig:
Ltd EC1000 deluxe
Ltd FX260
Peavey Valveking 112
Shure Super 55
Shure Pg 58
Behringer Kx1200
#16
" thats jsut creepy and weird

shove it up her bum

EDIT: yay! scotland! "
two and a half men.
#17
To Daily Mail readers;

TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
TERRORISMCONGESTIONCHARGEKIDSARENTSAFE
IF ONLY DIANA WERE HERE!!!!!!


To Guardian readers;

GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
GLOBALWARMINGEVERYONEISRACISTWHERESMYSANDALS
IF ONLY JOHN LENNON WAS HERE!!!!
#18
GUD THING IM A TROO PONX AND REPEL POSERS WIT MAH PONX MAGNET

Rig

Jackson DK2M -> ISP Decimator -> Peavey 6505 Combo
#19
Quote by IronMaiden5
People who spell rerarded like "retarted" are retarded as well.


I lol'd.

Also, my sig.
#20
Quote by hazzmatazz
"Natural selection at its best"
"I Cum Blood" (never funny)

fixed.
#21
In one of the circumsised vs uncircumsised threads (of which there have been MANY) by an unknown UGer (by unknown I mean forgotten)

"Enjoy your Jew penis"
#22
"You kids ever taken a broomstick up the ass?"
:
Quote by malachifivebass
you cant make a male musician choose music or sex, its like asking a fat man twinkie or brownie


Quote by iamnotrabid
Quote by metdethslaythrx
Naomi
it's "I moan" backwards
No, it's I maon.

Phail

I WILL one day rule the world, Pm me with the position you want and Ill see if it is open.
#23
Quote by Kensai
I'm not racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

My favourite
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#25
Quote by MoleMania
^ I think was around before Kensai if I remember


I've seen it in places.

Bunch of copycats!
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#26
Quote by Craigo
[Ownage]

That's brilliant!!!
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#28
The Foreskin slingshot.... refer to sig.
Quote by alteredstates
If you are rowing down the road in your canoe and your wagon wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to make a doghouse?

Green, because a vest has no sleeves.

Can't we all just get a bong?
#29
Still, Kensai popularized it to us

right?
right?
right?

*jumps out nearest window*
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#30
"one day I'll move to a country where no immigrants are allowed"

always loved that one


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#31
Quote by MoleMania
^ I think was around before Kensai if I remember


Yeah, I actually started saying that, and everybody started using it, but there's no way that I can prove it, though.
Airship is liek teh best giitar playr evr!!111!1!

Quote by solidgay
Don't use distortion pedals. Just bury your guitar for three weeks, and then dig it up, that should do the job.


^Best Reply Ever!

Quote by imdeth
metaldud damn it I said ignore the penis!
#32
I think graybass' prefectly timed entrances are pretty funny, but seeing as how this isn't the choose your own adventure thread I can't see it happening here...
#33
Quote by mituozo
Carbon monoxide poisonous gas alarm?
That was funny.

Quote by Rankles
Permabanned!
That was funnier.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#34
" I have only like 3 friends in real life "

" I am LITERALLY CRYING right now "

- from some guy in the FOTB, where I spend most of my time
two and a half men.
#37
very little of what has been mentioned is funny. please start by finding the actual quote rather than paraphrasing, and secondly, explain the context for those who didn't see the thread it was in if necessary.

in an attempt to save this thread... this is the opening post from a thread called Thank You in the FOTB:
Quote by Noach101
Thank you very, very much. I can't pretend to understand what it is like to be a moderator, burdened with so much power. It must be truly demanding to resist such temptations to defect into the darkside and use one's great blessings for evil. I'm glad we have such benevolent, if not godly moderators on this site who stand up for true injustice and don't lower themselves to "****ing" with people just because they can. I for one can consider myself lucky to be in the presence of such American Heores, who have sacrificed their social life as well as their hygiene so that they can do God's work without distraction: Banning people ten seconds after they are unbanned.

I have seen the error of my ways and I will not cower to nasty, childish insults like "TheGuitarist can Suck a Donkey's **** and swallow his load, faggot" or "I hope a bunch of masked teenagers gang rape your mother TheGuitarist, make you watch, force you to participate, and then pour cleaning solution in your eyes."


No I refuse to say things like that to these messengers of joy and righteousness. They have saved me from myself and I am thankful.

Now continue with your fearless crusade, courageous moderators, for the internets is serious. ****ing. business.


>>>>Noah101
from daylight...
...into darkness
#38
Quote by divid3d
very little of what has been mentioned is funny. please start by finding the actual quote rather than paraphrasing, and secondly, explain the context for those who didn't see the thread it was in if necessary.

in an attempt to save this thread... this is the opening post from a thread called Thank You in the FOTB:

Lot's of there quotes are obscure and hard to find. Or in the FOTB.
two and a half men.
#39
The one on my sig is epic. =)
͏͏͏
۩۩۩۩۩۩۩Ƒyre Ðeity۩۩۩۩۩۩۩

Quote by Here_is_no_why

"Hey Mike, did your mom have a C section when she gave birth to you? Because I wanna make sure she's tight before I bang her."
#40
Quote by Cameronrobson
Lot's of there quotes are obscure and hard to find. Or in the FOTB.

what i'm saying is, there's no point posting a quote if you're going to mangle it, making it inaccurate and unfunny.
from daylight...
...into darkness
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