#1
Ok, tommorow in english i have to give a speech on why i hate chavs and toursists, so i need some good jokes, i've come to the pit for the best of the best
Quote by cornmancer
In hell they make you play Mario Kart for all eternity. Every race you almost win, but then get triple blue shelled 5 feet from the finish line and get forced to watch everyone pass you.



XBL: FOOmike25

It's Your Fudging Nightmare
#2
A chav walks into a tourist...
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#3
wuts a chav?
Quote by SharpSpoon
I think I can safely say I would still bang her knowing this information.


Lmao ^

Grundy0 > Cancer!
#4
Quote by schecter_r0cker
wuts a chav?

British thing.
Yob, ruffian, hoodlum, etc etc
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#5
Chavs are actually people....


LOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Quote by Jonjy2
Haha! You are awesome Bucketbotman!! Lolz!!

+100


I CAN PUT MY FOOT BEHIND MY HEAD!

Gear
Ibanez RG370DX special edition!
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Fender 40W amp
Dunlop Crybaby
#7
Quote by hawk_kst
What do you call a chav in a box?
init

What do you call a chav in a locked box?
safe init

xD


Thats a good one, TS use this one!

EDIT:

Why did the Chav cross the road?

To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
#8
"I'm ignorant and prejudiced, which is why I automatically place people into the hate list without any actual confrontation, based solely on what they wear"

always gets a few laughs.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#9
Why are Chavs like Slinkys?
Becasue they're pointless but fun to throw down stairs

Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#10
Quote by rabidguitarist
"I'm ignorant and prejudiced, which is why I automatically place people into the hate list without any actual confrontation, based solely on what they wear"

always gets a few laughs.


+1

Pisses me off when people are judged on sweet fuck all.
#11
Quote by iron_mike25
Ok, tommorow in english i have to give a speech on why i hate chavs and toursists, so i need some good jokes, i've come to the pit for the best of the best


maybe you should give a speech on why you're so damn ignorant and why you have to label, then judge people you don't even know based on what everyone else says.
"To me it seems pretty straightforward. There are two opinions one can have about freedom of speech, you're for it or against it." - Tom Morello


Shackled Our Minds When You're Bent on the Cross... When Ignorance Reigns, Life is Lost
#12
knock knock
who's there?
chav
chav who?
Chav you seen the shoes they have on sale?

knock knock
who's there?
tourist
tourist who?
this isn't a fucking game, my car broke down in the middle of no where. Can I use your phone?
#13
I shall consult my Sickipedia Jokebook

I can only post Chav jokes because the only tourist ones i know are racist in some way shape or form, and in the Pit, Racism is a big no-no.

Two Chavs have a drag race, and both the Vauxhall Nova and the Citroen Saxo fall off the edge in the race. Who wins?
Society

Two chavs in a car, no load music and no massive exhaust pipe, who is driving?
The police.

What do you say to a chav when he's working?
Big-Mac meal and fries please.
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#14
Q. Why are chavs like slinkies?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

Q. Two chavs race their Nova's over a cliff to see who hits the bottom first...who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What's the difference between a male chav and a female chav?
A. Female chavs have a higher sperm count!

Q. What's the chav next door getting for Christmas?
A. Your bike.

Q. What do you call a chav in a suit?
A. The accused.
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']^ This man knows everything.

Seriously, don't even try and question him, he'll rip your face off with his awesomeness alone.
Quote by Kumanji
@ yet another win post from Vince. Kudos to you, sir.
#15
Quote by RATM forever
maybe you should give a speech on why you're so damn ignorant and why you have to label, then judge people you don't even know based on what everyone else says.


You're half right... (calling someone a tourist isn't labeling?)
#16
Quote by Mask_Of_Sanity
knock knock
who's there?
chav
chav who?
Chav you seen the shoes they have on sale?

knock knock
who's there?
tourist
tourist who?
this isn't a fucking game, my car broke down in the middle of no where. Can I use your phone?

win
You are now blinking manually
#17
Q. What's orange and looks good on a Chav?
A. Fire.
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']^ This man knows everything.

Seriously, don't even try and question him, he'll rip your face off with his awesomeness alone.
Quote by Kumanji
@ yet another win post from Vince. Kudos to you, sir.
#18
Quote by Xn00bX
You're half right... (calling someone a tourist isn't labeling?)


you're right, I take that tourist part back, but my point still stands
"To me it seems pretty straightforward. There are two opinions one can have about freedom of speech, you're for it or against it." - Tom Morello


Shackled Our Minds When You're Bent on the Cross... When Ignorance Reigns, Life is Lost
#19
'Allright, mate?'
'Bonjour.'
'What? Talk English!'

That makes me pee myself, because people in my area say it often.
Talk English... lawl.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#20
Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. What do you do if you see a chav limping?
A. Stop laughing and reload.
Quote by abstract pie
Ahh the pit. Where conversations of Pokemon Cards can turn into ones of wizard homosexuality



You are everything I want...
...'Cause you are...

...Everything I'm not.

Atheism. Is. Not. A. Religion.
Today's saints were yesterday's sellouts
#21
I personally don't judge chavs as their clothing, I have some good friends who live in council estates and wear trackie bottoms and so on. I call someone a chav if they have what to me, is the chav personality. No ambition except to make others miserable just cos theyre there and to intimidate others.

Of course, if they hit me they also get the name, chav.
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#22
Q: What's the first question in a chav quiz?
A: What you lookin' at?!
Rule number three: Never open the package

It's magic magic baby!

Yoink!
#23
What do chavs use for protection during sex?

A bus shelter.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.
#24
Why is 2 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 5.

What do you call a chav with a degree?
A liar.

What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.