#1
We haven't had a good practice in 3 weeks, mostly cuz the drummer is either busy, or with his gf, I've made it a point the last 3 days to tell him we haven't practiced in forever, but he says he'll probably 'have' to hang out with his gf, which is annoying as hell, i dont' see why she can't watch us practice for an hour, or even 30 minutes. I don't think she likes us. Also since he got back from rehab they put him on anti depressants, and he's all monotone and doesn't seem to care about much when he's on them. Anyone else have/had a simular problem, how'd you deal with it?
Worse comes to worse I can try to buy my little brother a drumset, he can actually play better anyway, but the drummer is a really good friend.
#2
Ok, this is what you do. Since he is already on anti-depressants, he wont care much if you get his GF, kill her, and then the band is ok.

On a serious note, if he is on anti-depressants good chance he isnt thinking alot, and being with his GF is physicaly enjoyable which will be the most important in his mind. If telling him to shape up doesnt work then you probably need to look for a new drummer.
#4
Here's the deal man, if you're serious about the band, pick up another drummer. Those anti- depressants are gonna mess with him, and he'll stop caring. As for "Having" To hang out wiht his gf, we had that same problem in my band, it's not worth the headache. Sit him down, explain to him that he's gotta be as driven as everyone else, as into it, as passionate, or he can't do it. Otherwise, the music overall will never sound as good.
You worship a lesser god.
#5
Quote by Chaosinborn
Ok, this is what you do. Since he is already on anti-depressants, he wont care much if you get his GF, kill her, and then the band is ok..

Me and the bassist joked about that
I think we're gonna tell to get his **** together or we'll find someone new, I dont' think he needs antidepressants, cuz before he got them, he said he was faking depression to his councilors to try to get zanex, but idk maybe he was only saying he was faking it.
#6
dude i was in a band with 3 mates me being the bassist
the drummer was slack n only jammed wen he wanted to
the rythm guitarist didnt really have great equipment
me an the lead guitarist/singer really wanted to get a band going serously
we searched around found a great drummer our age (15) who had ****loads of equipment and was dead set on wanting to get into a fulltime band
ever since then things have been going so great and i think the band really might be going places
so yeh if u want to get a band going you really have to push down hard make him realise he's either in or out
its a MUST for bands to have atleast one practise a week
one small session and one large session works out really well

hope that helps
good luck with the band bro
#8
Some of the best advice I've heard is don't start a band with your friends because you don't want to get attached to someone who sucks.
#9
Quote by stratkat
We haven't had a good practice in 3 weeks, mostly cuz the drummer is either busy, or with his gf, I've made it a point the last 3 days to tell him we haven't practiced in forever, but he says he'll probably 'have' to hang out with his gf, which is annoying as hell, i dont' see why she can't watch us practice for an hour, or even 30 minutes. I don't think she likes us. Also since he got back from rehab they put him on anti depressants, and he's all monotone and doesn't seem to care about much when he's on them. Anyone else have/had a simular problem, how'd you deal with it?
Worse comes to worse I can try to buy my little brother a drumset, he can actually play better anyway, but the drummer is a really good friend.

The guy sounds like he needs time to recouperate, his girlfriend sounds like she's being protective of him and is suspicious about him hanging around a noisy wild livin' rock band (which is how girlfriends and mothers all see every band that their boyfriends or sons are in, even if it's a country and western act)
I honestly don't mean to offend you, but he probably needs her a lot more than he needs you guys right now.
I've been through something similar to what your drummer is going through now and I've been in bands with other members going through something similar and believe me, he's gonna need a bit of space and absolutely NO stress.
Either put the band on hold, get on with a side project or two and tell him that his position will still be open when he feels more up to it or get your brother that kit and replace him, but if you do the latter, make sure that you tell him that as soon as he's ready, you can start jamming again. It'll give him something to aim towards.
Just make sure that he knows you're there for him whenever he needs a buddy and that whatever you decide to do, it's being done in his best interest.
His health comes first, and if you try to push him into a fulltime band situation, it can cause him stress and that can put him right back at 'square one' again.
Anti depressants tend to 'switch off' whatever it is that makes a musician function, so while he's on them, he's not gonna be much use as a musician (and if he tries, it could cause him to become frustrated that he just can't seem to cut it anymore, causing stress, which we've already ascertained is dangerous to him) and he really doesn't want to come off them until he's 'better' which could take weeks, months or even years.
My best mate was a drummer who I was in a band with about 15 years ago, until his drug usage brought on a complete breakdown and the band split. I've kept in touch with him over the years and we've occasionaly jammed and he's even guested with my current band, but it's only now, after all this time that he's professed an interest in getting into a band again. He's practicaly fully recovered now but he'll never be exactly the same as he was, but it's still great to see him back on the scene again and I've even sorted out a date for his new band to support my band at a local festival that my band organises each year.
He's still my best mate and we're also planning on recording an album together as a side project sometime soon, it may lead to a few gigs together later down the line but I'm not organising anything for definate yet because he still has to just take it one day at a time at the moment until he's absolutely cirtain that that's what he wants, but you can see just how long it can take for someone to fully recover from mental illness or something similar.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at May 24, 2008,
#10
Tell him if he doesn't practice to the standard everyone expects, then you'll have to find someone else. If he doesn't like it, kick his ass out. Do NOT try and convince him or give him any slack at all. As soon as you give him an inch, he'll take a mile. Every band needs a leader, and the leader has to have a take-no-**** attitude with slackers, otherwise you'll never make any progress.

If it's true about him lying to get xanax, then there's a pretty good chance he's a dead**** anyway, in which case you'd be better off without him.
#13
As Guitar Hero III puts it "Maybe a drum machine would show up to practice on time..."
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