#1
... and they shall be
born into this life
each with a seed of their own.

they shall not hide it
but hold it up
so it may be fed by
the light and rain of the world.

as their tree grows
they may stand in its shade
safe from the heat at noon
or climb upon it to view
those far away.

they may eat
and share with all,
the fruit that it gives
to feed the heart and mind.

as it grows
so shall their souls
safe, fed, and wise.

and the tree shall be called
truth.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#2
I liked this piece. It was very simple and honest. I think that it was written very well, it looks like you chose words carefully and cut the sentences to fit this nice frame of structure.

I do think the ending could do with more, I had a feeling of "and then...?" when I finished it, and I read the piece again in order to find my extra meaning somewhere... and I didn't.

It's not that I think it can\t stand alone as it is, I just feel like you have more to tell. Truth is a very elusive and interesting term and I think you could have done more than just serve it up to me on a plate and say "there, have it."

The piece could have been cut down a bit, in order to be one of those really short pieces that are straight to the point, because after all, this only really had one point.

But again, it was well written, it was thought through and I enjoyed it.
This is not a pipe
#3
thanks, carmel!

this was a quick write, and i didn't have any thoughts toward structure. so i'm pleased to know that part worked out naturally. the words were difficult because of the length limitation. i "stole" the idea for truth from a piece i recently read. not this concept, just basing a piece around that word.

there were three main aspects i was trying to hint at. we are all born with a kernel of truth. each person's personal truth is slightly different because of their unique exposure to the world. (i don't think that part came across well) and that truth shelters and nourishes us, spiritually.

if/when i revise, i'll look toward saying a little more in less space. i don't want to make this any longer. but i think the concept that truth is both the same for us because we are all people, yet slightly different because we are individuals, is something worth reflecting on.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.