#1
I wrote this one awhile back. Tis a Thrash metal song. Tell me what you think.


(verse 1)

Running through the burning fields,
Watching soldiers that cannot heal.
Try to rescue them from their pain,
This horrible sight drives me insane.

Open fire amongst these men,
But the simple truth I cannot bend,
The truth that I’m one of them.
Killing those who commit no sin.

(chorus)

Found the reason to hate,
Found out my mistake.
Cant seem to shake the feeling,
That only my soul needs healing.

I’ve fought my battles day and night.
And yet these soldiers I must fight.
We are all the same out here,
Killing others with our own fear.

I doesn’t matter who’s side your on,
As long as your enemies are dead and gone.
You make out all the deals,
But you have no idea how it feel’s.

(verse 2)

You’re the reason for their death,
You laugh at my dying breath.
You see the horror but you don’t sigh,
Why is it us that has to die?

Just sit down in your chair,
Don’t watch the scene that’s unfair.
You think we do your bidding,
Who do you think your kidding?

(chorus)

Found the reason to hate,
Found out my mistake.
Cant seem to shake the feeling,
That only my soul needs healing.

I’ve fought my battles day and night.
And yet these soldiers I must fight.
We are all the same out here,
Killing others with our own fear.

I doesn’t matter who’s side your on,
As long as your enemies are dead and gone.
You make out all the deals,
But you have no idea how it feel’s.

No, no idea how I feel.
To take another mans life
And murder his soul.
Try it yourself,
Then you’ll know.
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#3
Quote by littleleo88
good lyrics, too much rhyming. sounds like a poem.


Yeah i get what your saying. Orginally it was a poem, but i thought the theme of the lyrics would fit into a song for my band, so I just used them. I might revise it later on, but for now I'll just keep it like it is.

Thanks for the crit, BTW.
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#5
over all i liked it
the rhyme scheme isnt... cliched/generic, but it doesnt quite seem to fit the genre or the lyrics, though i dont think you could change that without rewriting the entire song anyway
i like the theme and the ACTUAL words though, you got the message across well
the rhymes in the first few stanzas ALMOST seem a bit forced, but not enough to rewrite
i cant think of anything to change here really w/out scrapping it and starting from scratch so... good work
#6
Wow, this starts exactly like Dragonforce's Storming the Burning fields, except they say in the beginning Storming through the burning fileds, not running.

I think this is pretty good lyrics btw, don't change 'em, they are good. Now just find riffs for the whole song.
#7
Quote by ReinventingEvil
reminds me of disposable heroes to tell you the truth


Actually I was thinking aobut that song as I wrote that.

Quote by mr synyster g


over all i liked it
the rhyme scheme isnt... cliched/generic, but it doesnt quite seem to fit the genre or the lyrics, though i dont think you could change that without rewriting the entire song anyway
i like the theme and the ACTUAL words though, you got the message across well
the rhymes in the first few stanzas ALMOST seem a bit forced, but not enough to rewrite
i cant think of anything to change here really w/out scrapping it and starting from scratch so... good work


The rhymes ARE a little rough i will admit, but like I said above this WAS originally a poem. I suppose I should look over it and change a few things. Thanks for the crit.
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#8
Did you serve any time in the military? That would add an awesome level of senitimental value to an already amazing set of lyrics.
#9
hey could i use this in band if not thats kool but i love lyrics