#1
Hello, UG, I recently was messing around with lyrics, guitar in hand, and came up with the beginning of this little number.

I have the song itself tabbed out to the end of the first verse, but the lyrics are to the first chorus. So I just left the later lyrics out.

I have the guitar, bass, drums, and vocal tracks (With lyrics). Trying to keep it as close to what my band could play, I'm going to try to only use one guitar. *Sigh*. Sooner or later, the drummer/singer will suck up his ego and let us get a second guitarist who can sing and wont 'mess with our chemistry'. Feh.

Anyway, it would be great if you guys could tell me if what's there is good, and any advice would be wonderful. I'll update it with more progress within a day or so.

Thank you in advance, and C4C.

EDIT: Updated version a few posts down; still C4C
Attachments:
said_and_done.zip
Last edited by Msu_Man04 at May 27, 2008,
#2
wow. For the type of song, this is pretty good! Very different than the sad metal song I just made :P I love the the opening, love the vocals. Love the verse a lot. Its not all generic like a lot of songs here. Umm... make it longer! I was expecting an awesome chorus!!! lol

also, my new song is on the first page. Its called sad metal song. please crit, and listen to the mp3. It sounds awesome for being midi, trust me.
#3
REALLY good, and the lead guitar lines sparse, but really add some depth to it. THe vocal line could use a bit of touching up, although that's probably due to Guitar Pros lacking in that facility. bass = Good, Drums = Good, all around a good song. I'd definately like to see this finished off.

9/10 easy xD

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=14409927#post14409927 - C4C?
#4
Alright, I added a pre-chorus, chorus, slipped the main riff part back in, and added a little pre-verse mini solo thing.

I haven't thought of lyrics for the second verse, so I didn't go far into that, only had the intruments play for 4 bars. But anyway....

The pre-chorus bit sounds a bit weird, but it's fine in my head. The guitar is supposed to let the open D string notes ring, but it clashes too weird with the MIDI, so I took out the let ring. The vocals might be a bit off from how they are in my head in the pre-chorus as well, but I can fix that later.

Oh, and I turned the vocals from Violin to Cello. Seems to be a bit more noticable.

Still C4C, and thanks in advance; Peace.
Attachments:
said_and_done1.zip
#6
You have a good grasp on rhythm and song structure. I liked what you were going for, but felt that the instrumentation was lacking. Perhaps you could develop some chord melody by playing the progression caged (rather than barred or open), and by throwing in some sixths and ninths.
#7
you've got some killer riffs. The whole song has a great flow, and has a lot of potential. The vocals could use some work, they're kind of bland at some parts. I loved the high thingy at 44, you should repeat that part (pre-chorus i guess) later in the song.

You should really add a second guitar, at least for a solo. The mini solo at 65 is nice as it is but doesn't count as a solo.

as I said before, this song is turning into a pretty cool rocking song, so you should keep working on it, until it's done. Keep up the good work.

PS. Thanks for the crit!! I feel really proud now.
#8
Very cool riffs, simple and catchy. I like how you changed the verse just a little bit, keeping it fresh but without repeating the same thing over again. Same with the chorus. I also like how you added some high notes during the verse as well, so it's not just like "root root root" you know? Overall, pretty cool! Good job!
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#9
Wow this is really something, the structure is fantastic and the lyrics are pretty good.
It could use a melodic solo somewhere in it, but overall good job. If I was asked to rate it I can easily give it 9/10. Sweet song man, good job
#10
It's a very fun song. Cool riffs. The chorus is really catchy and I simply loved it.

There are only 2 things that bothered me:
First of all, the verse riff right after the main riff. I think it's not interesting enough to play it without the singing. You should just start the singing as soon as that riff starts.
The other thing, sometimes it just sounds like the singing should end on the off-beat, yet you pull the last note until the first beat of the next bar (38-39, for example, the singer has to sing a long "be", and that sounds weird). I don't like that.

Other than that, I simply loved it. 9/10.
Oh, and good luck finishing it :P