#1
Got a new song up. Its not like my old music, but I still feel like this is my best song. Its a lot more developed and I can make it a lot quicker now. The whole thing was first made ALL on piano. I spent like 5 days in my basemet working on melodies and progressions on my keyboard. I put it in guitar pro, added other instruments and I made a new song. Don't base it off of my other music, since this is more like sad metal. Its influences are all A7X's sad songs, mostly seize the day, warmness on the soul, and I wont see you tonight part 1.

Also, this is my first real song, for my new band. The drums are simple cuz my friend that plays drums sucks. I play much better but...Im doing lead guitar. Im also gonna add vocals and record it.

also, PLEASE listen to the mp3. It is the only thing with the new updates!!! also, I hate the sound of other guys midi, and airfont 380 sounds AMAZING on this song.http://www.mediafire.com/?xn4pgxj4xys

C4C
Attachments:
Song 12.zip
Last edited by 1crazyboy7 at May 25, 2008,
#2
That's a pretty sweet song imo. since you already know about the ending which wasn't terrible all I really can say is add a little something between the end of the big solo and the going back in to the verse thing (or however you have it labeled) it sounded like there needed a little something in there... not sure what but it sounds like you got the talent to figure something out
According to wiki FAP really stands for familial adenomatous polyposis, a type of colon cancer.
--------------
Ibanez SZ720
Randall RG75D
--------------
Me Playing Stuff: Here
#3
amazingggggg dudeeee
Guitars-
Gibson SG Standard
Schecter c1 hellraiser fr (Tremelo-NO)


Amp-
5150 Custom
Marshall 1960a Lead

Effects-
Boss Ns2
EH Holy Stain
Boss Sd2
Ernie Ball Vol Jr
Digitech Digi Delay
Korg Rack Tuner
Furman Power Con
BBE Sonic Max
#4
The piano is intro is great, along with the beginning intro. From the time of listening I actually liked the ending, although lacking in the originality department it was a nice, comfortable ending. The problem is it doesnt really feel like it goes anywhere, it comes and goes, its nice, but not something i would listen to again and again. I would suggest adding in a new section or mixing it up a bit more in the second verse (just a suggestion, my opinion.) Perhaps a bridge before the last chorus??
Anyway that's my two cents.

Please crit mine!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=868055
#5
Imnopunkrocker and skullmage: yeah your right. Thanks. Ive listened to it many times. I think I thought the song ended terrribly because it was missing a sections and tahnks for pointing it out I always put something on UG and have something missing, lol. Ill make somethin today and submit it today. Im prob gonna add Like A piano/strings interlude and a break afterwards into the final chorus which will have strings and kill the 3rd verse, lol.
Last edited by 1crazyboy7 at May 25, 2008,
#6
The intro was pretty amazing, I love it. I like how it starts off slowl you didnt feel the need to bumrush into anything. The lead is great, even if it basically is just the piano. It sounds great accompanied with that.

When the other distorted guitar comes in, it just turns from amazing to epic. I love how the piano retains its place, and doesn't disappear when the other instruments come in.

I say the same for the second verse-chorus part. I was surprised that when it turns quiet for the 3rd time, it would sound like an abrupt halt, but it still sounded fine even after that guitar buildup.

Like you said, the ending is not as great as the whole, but still alright. Work on that, and extend this with new ideas. 9/10; fantastic.

Thanks for the crit.
#8
Good stuff. Sweet piano intro. At measure 9 I find it unessecary to have the lead guitar follow the piano note for note. It's called a harmony, dude! And where's the rythm guitar here? It sounds kind of empty. 25 is good. The piano and lead guitar sound great. Yeah... there's really not much to this song. It's just verse/chorus pretty much. 7/10. Add some more parts.

You can rit anything in my sig.
I'm a person.
Last edited by PinkIsCool at May 25, 2008,
#10
I love this ****. Very beutyfull.
Maybe i like it so much cause i love the song seize the day by A7X.
Very good piano work. And the lead work is also very good.
It maybe gets a little repetitive with the nice intro guitar thing all over the place. But still awsome. And that synth section in there was nice.
#13
This is a pretty nice song. I can definitely hear the A7X influences in this. But, imo, those triplets didn't really fit in with the verse, or w/e. Maybe if you had the piano keep the triplets, but had the guitar do something else, it would sound better, but i dont know. It just didn't sound quite right to me.
The chorus is epic. I love how it sounds. Don't change it. haha.

The string part is a nice addition. Also, I know you said your drummer sucks, but perhaps you can teach him a few things. The drum part sounds a little too plain for me. It doesn't have to be Dimmu Borgir machine-gun type stuff, but just, spice it up a bit.

My song: http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=868945
Quote by CrazyDavey
I like my women how I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in my basement.

Quote by rg_metal
Some old lady asked me if my electric guitar was a bass. It clearly has Six strings.

#14
I can definately see a Seize The Day influence here, which is no bad thing in my opinion. I certainly like the use of the lead guitar, some nice sweep arpeggios used, though i think the guitar could have done with differing in places from the piano during what i assume is the verse to give it a bit more dynamic. I love how the song comes to an end too as it gradually slows, it really fitted perfectly. A definate correct use of the drums throughout, it worked well. Whether this is a song for an interesting bass line im not sure, but it was quite dull and didnt bring much to the song (though it did not detract from it at all).

A couple of things i would consider would be firstly to add an acoustic guitar part because i think it would have really fitted and added extra richness to the song. And secondly, i personally thought that the piano did detract from the other instruments in a few places, either removing a few parts or lowering the piano volume would let the other instruments 'show' better, which i think could be an improvement.

Not to say any of my points have to be used, or that what you have here is bad because it really is a good track. For me its a 7/10, because you did a good job. If you made a few changes id see it as an 8, or even a 9. I can see you spent some time on this too

C4C. This is just a solo id like to be critiqued which wont take up as much of your time

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=14401685#post14401685
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
#15
Ok, seriously, im really sorry. My soundcard is broken, and its been broken for a while. Ill crit right when I get a new one, im really sorry
#16
Criticizing as I listen

intro - I like the piano intro, simple but effective
enter guitar - the rhythm of the guitar is sort of irritating - vary it some more, perhaps
bars 25 on - I like it, nice buildup. The piano triplets really help it out, and the guitar solo fits perfectly.
When it repeats, the guitar rhythm isnt nearly so bad the 2nd time around.
Bar 57 on - the BFB chord sounds bad and doesn't fit. Some of the guitar notes don't sound all that great.
Outro - love the outro solo. This is my favorite part.

So overall it had some good parts and some not so good parts. With some work, this could be a really good piece. The idea is good, but the execution of some of the sections currently leaves a bit to be desired. 6.5/10

If you ever get a soundcard, please crit the song Phantoms from my sig, but no need to rush.