#1
Hello there. I've been checking out around this forum for awhile, and I'd figured I'd give my writing skills a go for some criticism.

This original riff came about with me just messin' around on the gee-tar. The chord progression is mostly based around Am, C, and G. I haven't got to adding a drum track yet, simply because my creativity is lacking at this point.

So, here it is. Any and all criticism is welcome.


EDIT: 5/31/08 - First Edit:
    Attachments:
    Riff7.zip
    Quote by CrazyDavey
    I like my women how I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in my basement.

    Quote by rg_metal
    Some old lady asked me if my electric guitar was a bass. It clearly has Six strings.

    Last edited by Theta at May 31, 2008,
    #2
    wow!
    that bass part during the verses kicks bum!
    i got my bass out and played along- lovin the slide up to fret 7 on the G string of the bass

    i think that the lovely riff deserves a more interesting and complicated chorus.

    great idea for the verse though. it reminds me a little of 'snow hey oh' by the red hot chili peppers. Nice.

    Get a funky chorus goin and the thing will be great!
    #3
    The bass is great but the song itself is quite repetive. Chorus could be more interesting. That verse thing is good but your over using it. Try to make some different riff for post-choruses
    But that bass is absolutelly great
    #4
    Okay, I updated the file. Accepting crits again.

    5/31/08 - First Edit:
      Quote by CrazyDavey
      I like my women how I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in my basement.

      Quote by rg_metal
      Some old lady asked me if my electric guitar was a bass. It clearly has Six strings.

      #5
      Critting as i go
      Intro riff is pretty nice
      cool bass
      Pretty cool post chorus a
      I dont really like the chorus, it's too generic, and it barely fits the rest of the song
      cool 12 string effect part
      woah theres a part after the last chorus that sounds terrible: measures 109 to 112

      Hmmm ok overall this song has some good potential. To me its just a little bit repetitive and generic. Maybe you can expand off of post chorus a to make it less repetitive. So yeah decent song, great potential. 6/10
      #6
      Like Telestar said, measures 109-112 just don't sound too good. It has great potential if that gets fixed up a bit. Although I disagree with the chorus sounding too energetic, it sounded great.
      8/10
      #7
      Well I really liked the prog-rock feel. I felt like the bass was often too repetitive, and that for the bass line to be properly executed in the style you were attempting, you would have to add more stylish variation. The real punk part (chorus, maybe? I only had the midi) didn't fit with the rest of the song. I really thought alot of the riffs at the middle to end were just plain cool.

      Also, thanks for the crit on mine.
      Last edited by Donswald at Jun 1, 2008,