#1
This is an extremely fast punk/ska song. It would probably be best suited for a metal drummer. I tried to keep it creative and snappy, so it clocks in at just about one minute. There are three verses, followed by an orgasm. Input is welcome.

EDIT: I posted an updated version with a trumpet line a few posts down, try that one instead.
Attachments:
Swivel Out.zip
Last edited by Donswald at Jun 1, 2008,
#3
Wow... Haha. It's definitely upbeat. I can see where you're saying it's punk... but still. Too clean to be punk. I definitely feel the ska part, in the rhythm guitar. I do like that part.

The lead towards the end is alright though, I didn't mind it.

Overall, it's not that bad. 7/10. I would polish it up a bit, make the lead louder and rhythm quieter, for one. I'd like to listen to it again once you work on it. Not bad.

Crit mine? (Said And Done, in sig.)
#4
So I added an entirely new counter-point melody on trumpet, for my band's trumpet player (the only problem is that we just have one guitar player). Tell me what you think
Attachments:
Swivel Out.zip
Last edited by Donswald at May 31, 2008,
#5
I like it. Its upbeat, and sounds pretty good. The Trumpet part really sounds good with it. Nice job. I give it a 8/10. Hope to hear some new stuff.

Crit mine?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=868945
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#6
I didn't care much for the theme for some reason (that's an incredibly biased statement, though, so don't take it to heart), but the rest is brilliant and decidedly major. It's anything but depressing, I'll give you that. I do, however, think that the trumpet section shouldn't come until the second time you play the introduction, lest it's too abrupt. The solo did a great job of melting back into the theme, too.

You should definitely add bass. MIDI sounds so empty and lonely without bass.

If you intended for it to be that short, then it's a 9/10 for the quality of it alone, one point detracted because of how abruptly it began (I would have twelve consecutive heart attacks if I turned on the CD and that song jumped out at me out of nowhere).

In retrospect, it'd work entirely if the drums counted the band in first of all.
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