#1
It's been awhile since I submitted a piece here. I'm not sure about this one, I spent the last hour or so piecing it together, adding a few chords and such. It's a bit cliche, I know, but what're your thoughts?

Edit: If anyone is curious, this would probably be just an acoustic piece. As for genre, I dunno, sort of mellow rock.

Hold Me

If you fall,
I can't catch you on my weak shoulders.

And if you call,
I'll pretend I made some other plans first.

But if you really want to know,
I don't have anything better to do

Then just sit here
And write another song for you.

Cause you're the one
I chase through my dreams each night

And when we're together,
I'll hold on tight.

I won't let go.

And tonight
we'll be king and queen, sailing through southern skies

And in that moment,
you spoke volumes with just your eyes.

So we'll run away, seize the day
Show 'em all how it's done.

We work and play, but hey
Remember how it all begun?

Yeah, you were the one
I chased through my dreams each night

And when we're together,
I'll hold on tight.

I won't let go.

No, I'll never let you go.
and this moment keeps on movin'
we were never meant to hold on.
Last edited by Acoustic_ at May 26, 2008,
#2


can i hear it?
it is a tad cliche(not neccessarily a bad thing though, if this is a song); i really thought it could've ended quite lovely after the first "I won't let go." i kinda get the feeling like the end could just be there for filler, whereas the first half carries more emotion imo.

however, this is pretty good. i likey.

EDIT: first post, yeeeeeah!
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
#3
Agreed. It's a little cliche, but that's sometimes the best thing for songs like this (or, what i presume it to be). This is no masterpiece, but it's quite lovely and I assume that's what you were aiming for.
#4
I'm not exactly a master of guitar, so just imagine a rather basic chord progression, key of G, ya know. I'd record it, but I don't think I have my computer microphone anymore - if I can find it, I'll put a couple things up.

Anyway, the last line was one of those things I wasn't sure about. I imagined the chords of it going something like:

G C Am D G
No, I'll never let you go.

If that helps you.

And yeah, with this song the chords came before the words. I was just playing around with the guitar and writing down the words that came to me. I'm pleased with the result, but it's nothing spectacular or original.
and this moment keeps on movin'
we were never meant to hold on.