#1
There is this picture I took,
so long ago, I don't remember when.
There isnt anything special about it,
just a couple of smiling faces.
I don't know who they are, but I keep it anyways,
maybe I'll remember who they are,
or why I have it, eventually.

--
I havent written in forever,
I shouldnt do that...
Last edited by inthegreyx at May 26, 2008,
#4
To be honest, this just seemed to ramble. There was a point, but it was written in a way that made me not really care about the point. It's like listening to the old lady at the grocery store talk about her grandchildren... you know she means well, but about mid-way through you are looking at your watch hoping its done soon.

This could have been condensed... a lot, and it would have ahd a lot more impact if what little punch there wasn't spread across three stanzas. My advice: hack and slash this down to a 5-6 liner and make it all one stanza. Then it will have some kick.

Comment on Ointment in sig? If you don't... cool.
#5
you know, I originally had it about that long, and the first thing I thought was
everyone on UG is going to bash the lenghth, I need to make it longer.
I didnt like it longer, I should go back to short.
Thank you. : )