#1
What exactly would i need to record my self singing and playing guitar? I have a laptop that i could record to, but know absoultely nothing about recording. I know id need some software to record w., but what gear would i need?

I looked at line6 tone ports and thought those seemed good, but really have no clue whatsoever.
#3
Basically: an audio interface, microphone, and computer w/ recording software. A toneport would work, but make sure you get something with 2 inputs if you want to record guitar and vocals at the same time. Audacity is apparently the best free recording software, but a lot of audio interfaces include software. I got an M-audio firewire solo for $200, it has a mic input and guitar input plus it came with a basic version of Ableton Live.
#4
Toneport UX1 is the minimum, as it has one mic input and one instr input, but there are two inputs in the back so you can have two guitars, or a guitar and a bass, or a keyboard and a bass etc. etc.
#5
Yep, as people have said, you're probably going to need an interface. Recording through a stock soundcard will usually not give a good result, and have latency. A recording interface will bypass your soundcard and give better quality recordings. I suggest you have a browse through the stickies and then ask any more specific questions in here.
There is poetry in despair.