#1
hes the start of my new piece, the verse is mild overdrive, then the chorus is heavier.

[verse]
Im not the one to tell you when,
Im not the one to tell you how
to get right back with your life.
Its not the time or place to ask
No longer up to me to choose
the outcome of your day

[bridge]
So when we're standing against the wall
looking out over the clouds and asking them
will you catch my fall!

[chorus]
Im on my knees and begging please
dont let me down
will you catch my fall.


thats all i got for now, any tips would be great thanks, im pretty new to this.
#4
"To get right back with your life" sounds odd.

The first stanza was a little sloppy, because none of the lines rhymed. Plenty of poems do that, but you also had six lines, which demands some coherency from other places. And as far as the meaning, I'm pretty sure I'm on track with it, but none of the lines really struck me. They just seemed like a lot of fillers, but no meat. Sometimes I think of a great line and develop a song around it, but this seemed more like you started with a concept that you didn't quite capitalize on. "No longer up for me to choose the outcome of your day" was a good line, I must say though.