this is just some stuff i put together....it's not finished yet, but i want to see if anyone likes it.....so enjoy!
Well, to be honest it was reeeeally basic. It was like any other recycled metalcore song. If that was structured, than it really seemed like it would have nowhere to go. It lacked an overall flow, if you know what I mean. I think you need to think a little more outside of the box. Use a lot more notes. The "breakdowns" had little to no feel to them, as well. Just push yourself.

It's not like it's terrible, it's just very "cookie-cutter". This is just my opinion, however.
ok. its basic. but... what the hell is wrong with that? its predictable, but its moshy, and smashy. add some drums, bass, etcetera, and it will sound catchy. i like the way the riffs slightly change rythm and harmonies now and then. good stuff
Its not bad at all, with drums it would catch the 'scenes' attention. The breakdowns do need some work and the intro is a little to bland but overall it isn't that at all. Work on some more and repost it. I give it a 6/10 because it isn't complete and a little random

My metalcore song
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470