#1
First post, and I wrote it a minute or so beforehand. Just the dream to chase after, though, in this field it's all opinion really. Hopefully more people will agree than not. Either way writing's fun, so screw it.

Lyrical prowess does not come at my behest
Only rearing its head after long periods of rest
But I feel what comes should truly impress
Though that obstacle is the hardest to best

Words and lines, colorful rhymes
Mean nothing if they are not heard
But it seems that I have yet to realize
How to make that occur

Oh, it is the greatest tragedy to me
When my goal is not met
It seems, truly, that the powers that be
Do not wish for it yet

For now I'll light the fire
Waiting for others to catch
From smoldering embers to the largest pyre
Someday I'll be the best

At least that's the plan, more or less.
#2
wow, that was good, dont change anything i liked the ending line

crit mine its in my sig please, thanks
#3
that's pretty good. i don't really like poems that are ABOUT writing, but you seemed to pull it off. you used great imagery here, not too straightforward at all. the first line seems too wordy though imo. and if you're going to change your rhyming pattern right after the first stanza, then you should just change the first stanza to fit the rest of the poem. the AAAA pattern in the first stanza just does not help the poem at all. other than that, it was pretty good. could you crit locks of fear? it's in my sig. thanks.
#4
I don't normally like songs about songs, but this was excellent. The fact that you wrote it shows that your observation is keen and that you can express it successfully. That's big.
#6
awsome flow man, i especially like the last stanza. check mien out. whats wrong with me
(We are) The anti-cancer
(We are) The only answer
Stripped down, we want you dead
But what's inside of me, you'll never know
(We are) Bipolar gods
(We are) You know what we are