#1
The grisly goliath rises from depths of murk,
Reaching with each arm to clench its Davids
Helpless and confused faces contorting with consecutive snaps
Of broken bones that compliment the banshee screeches.
Massacre.

Earth, the shrinking wasteland;
Greens and blues atrophy
Waste away to clear the way for floods of grey.
Resonating crimson light faintly inundates the ashes;
All-pervading beacon of tainted design.

Witness the talons of their sordid legions:
Insectoid clouds that blacken all horizons.
Let miasmic winds of change blow their pestilence overhead.
Learn to love the decay
And to appreciate the disease.

Resistance rendered useless;
Desperate acts by desperate few.
The sun's last white flare wouldn't even begin
To shatter the nightmare in you.

Choirs of rotting angels
Usher in the age anew
Even heaven itself couldn't stretch out its jaws
And swallow the nightmare in you.
Last edited by flame843 at May 29, 2008,
#2
That was really good dude. Did an amazing job of conveying the imagery, the diction you used was perfect. Poetic biblical/prophetic style language juxtaposed against very brash, almost jagged images. Had a very cool effect, definitely builds a great atmosphere and adds a lot of depth. Also, not sure if this was intentional or not, but there's a very strong sense of "color" imagery throughout the entire piece, from the "Greens and blues," "crimson light," "blacken all horizons," "last red flare." Ties the piece together, gives it a nice flow and feel. Excellent stuff.

Any crits on mine would be much appreciated:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=870425