#1
Hey there! This one is a lot shorter than the previous. Feel free to comment and criticize it (since it's the point of posting it) C4C (leave link)

Will you come back for more?
I really need an encore of what you did last night
I never felt more alive and embraced
Because we passed three hours straight
Just gazing at the moonlight
Sitting on a rock in a lonely park
I swear I felt that spark
Everyone talks about the spark
But I never quite had felt it
And for those who don’t know it’s like our body melted
And at the same time it has the strength to push you off the ground
The sound of your voice as you asked for a lullaby
Your head was on my shoulder
And we had all the time in the world
In other times there was always a goodbye
Always a “call you later”
And never really called
And now I think about the times I crawled back
To something that’s unmatchable as this
This which came as bliss
This moment in this park
Where your hand touched my heart
And we felt as one
Right now I feel complete
I feel I won’t be beaten by any type of challenge
Here we are…
As I swallow your soul and make you mine
And you swallow me into your eyes
There’s nowhere else I would rather be
And no way I would feel more free
I swear you can meld me as you wish
Cause your wishes are perfect
And any wish is bliss
Last edited by seventh_angel at May 29, 2008,
#2
I like it. I just spent the day in the park with my girlfriend. I'm not a good critic so I can't give helpful advice, but I like it.
If music was the food of love I'd be a fat romantic slob.