#1
A song. Wrote it the day my grandfather died. I was too young the last time i saw him to remember him. Anyway, this song is definitely not only about that, it just so happened that it spilled out that day. I'll explain all the other meenings later i guess, but i'd like to hear your interpretations and stuff first. Crit for crit also but please leave a link.

Ten Years Away

The broken old man waiting patiently
All these secrets hidden silently
In the darkness and wrapped in pain
Robe of wrinkles and a crown of grey

Memories of yesterday.
The day came for him to run away.
Ten years away.
Ten years today.

A dusty voice spoken so far away
Quieted, having so much to say
Returned to dust by the weight of age
Heavy burden, hardest war to wage

Memories of yesterday.
The day came for him to run away.
Ten years away.
Ten years today.

His son is gone
His daughters have to bury him
His sun is gone
The night will have to carry him

Ten years away.

Carry him away.
#2
I actually really enjoyed this. i love the last big stanza where all the lines are similar, but yet different. but you only notice that they're different if you're really paying attention. i just thought that was a very nice touch. this is just a really good piece. better than what i've seen in awhile. crit locks of fear in my sig? thanks dude.
#3
this was lovely at first read.

i'll be returning for a more-in-depth.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
#5
well, honestly i'm surprised that this hasn't received more comments.
this place can be so clique-ish sometimes.

i believe this is great song material. it was easy on the eyes to read, and i imagined many different ways this could be portrayed. the emotion showed through, very well, i might add.
i haven't really seen anything else from you, considering i haven't been posting that long myself. i'll definitely be on the lookout for anymore, though.

oh, if you're returing - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=871564
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
Last edited by ottoavist at May 30, 2008,
#6
Yes, it can be "clique-ish" around here... Oh, well...

And thank you for the comment. I will return crits, btw.

Oh, and yeah, i havent posted in a while. Maybe i will more this summer...