#4
you never know your being watched till you see the muppets following you.....


I have nothing unique or funny to put here.
#5
when life gets you down, whatever you do, DO NOT mix aluminum and mustard.
I Like My Music Like I Like My Life

EVERYTHING LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE!
#6
Things can only get better... Or stay the same... Or get worse


(+1 e-cookie t whom gets the refrence )
#8
I repeat a Hippy adage, "Peace, love, and harmony". Course, then I remember I love to fight. -- Anonymous
#16
"**** these boomers, **** these yuppies... and **** everyone now that I think of it!"
"...I escaped into the music. And the music has been my best friend. It has always been a safeguard against life and reality for me..." -Hans Zimmer

"Friends are just your enemies who don't have the guts to kill you." -Steve Peplin
#17
"HEY YOU WHITE KID!!!!!!!"

This was screamed from my passenger side window of my van today at a small kid, one who was around 3rd or 4th grade, as he was walking down the street back home.


Needless to say, much rofling followed.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#18
Quote by FireandFlames
"Press B to stop a Pokemon from evolving"




"F***ing Magicarp...."
I have nothing unique or funny to put here.
#21
There are only 10 types of people in the world.


Those that can read binary, and those that can't.
#23
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
Quote by The Leader
Man, woman, and child alike wept openly at the scourge and pestilence that was birthed onto this Earth from my anus

Quote by inhatredofme
i rear back with the hammer and start raining down blows like thor upon a hooker
#24
Oh how things change (except the things you want to change).

Story behind it: my friend's girlfriend was straight edge when he left town for 2 months (maybe not even that long). Tonight she is getting drunk down by the river, he's been back in town for a week now.

So that's the first part, the "except" part is for me. I've liked this girl for a year now, and we did some stuff when we first met even though she had a boyfriend, and she broke up with him, but then nothing happened with us, for whatever retarded reason. So now I go hang out with her tonight, and she's going back out with the same guy, the hell.

Sorry for that extra crap no one cares about.
#25
Skeletons eat people like fried onions- my friends little brother
ಠ_ಠ
#29
"If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being immensely over-educated. "

- Oscar Wilde


That man was amazing.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#31
Satan

**sip of wine**
Barry White is cooler than you
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I really wish I could say you're funny and cool, but that would be like saying Africa doesn't have a poverty problem.
#32
"Who would win in a fight between a Shark and a Crocodile?


Chuck Norris"
-\_/-
Quote by Fred1000000
BlackZeppelin is like Ghandi. With a bigger sense of humor.
it's the silence between the notes that makes the music.
#33
Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.

~Aldous Huxley~
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#34
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"

XXXbloodyrists666XXX
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#36
Quote by floppypick
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"

XXXbloodyrists666XXX



My god that thread was epic.
#38
"if at first you fail, destroy any evidence you tried."
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#40
A northern fairy tale starts out "once upon a time.."
A southern fairy tale starts out "y'all ain't gon' believe this ****!"


Murphy's Law of Combat:
"Never forget that your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder"


SEXY; its not what you wear. its how you take it off


Do you know why there are so many blonde jokes?
Because the brunettes have nothing better
to do while all the blondes are out on dates.


Even if the voices are not real, they have some good ideas.


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory


Never laugh at a clown with a gun


The world would have been a lot better if you had just been a stain


Specify that your drive-thru order is to go, it confuses people


My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems


When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers
for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.


I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman
who'd be mad at me for saying that


I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights
and tell you exactly which way it's coming.


An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.
You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign,
just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."


The only reason Santa is so jolly is because
he knows where all the bad girls live.


Arguing over the internet is like the Special Olympics:
even if you do win, you're still retarded.


Don't spend $2 to dry clean a shirt. donate it to the salvation army instead. They'll clean it & put it on a hanger, Next morning buy it back for 75 cents!


I respect vegetarians and their decisions,
but my thinking is ~ I'm on top of the food chain here,
so if I can get it, I can eat it.
if a cow figures out how to kill me and eat me, more power to him!


Sex is like spades. If you don't have a good partner u better have a good hand!


The best thing about Alzheimer’s is:
You can hide your own Easter eggs


I'm a babe magnet... just the wrong end


Dumb is just not knowing... Ditzy is having the courage to ask


Don't get high on life: cereal hurts when it gets stuck up your nose


If you could read my mind...you'd be the 2nd smartest person on earth


I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.


My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me,
"If you could know how and when you were going to die,
would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it."


I went for a walk last night and she asked me how
long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."


I got stopped by a cop the other day.
He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?"
I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."


When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.


If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny


After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me,
'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'


Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac


I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.


Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.


Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.


It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.