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#1
I thought of this recently when I told a guy such a harsh come back he cried
And one I told my friend.

The one I told the guy was because he was pissing me off:

"Your life is nothing but darkness, because your boyfriend Hector
mushroomstamped your eyes shut."

I lul'ed afterwards

The one I told my friend went like this:

Him: "When I get my license, if it's a guy i'm busing around, he'll give me gas money.
If it's a girl, then they gotta give me head." *smiles*.

Me: "Well Michael, it looks like you'll be riding alone then, ALWAYS."

Him: *embarrassed*

Everyone in car: *hard lulz*


What have been your best moments of comebackage?
#4
dud omg lol u PWNED those n00bs!
Nighty Night keep your butthole tight
Quote by AlexiSinergy
I heard my mom talking to her friend about going to a ****ing dildo party!
#5
Quote by FireandFlames
I R BLIND PLZ REPEAT THAT IN BRAILLE


::. ..: .: ::....: :. .:.


EDIT: vv Beat you to it vv
Quote by Ylasto
R.I.P Ean.

Are there any other members of Lynyrd Skynyrd who are dead?
#7
Quote by Lgndkllr777
::. ..: .: ::....: :. .:.

lol THAT is the best comeback line
Quote by aig91
"It doesn't get much beter than that! Ok, maybe a free ibanez guitar and marshall half-stack in perfect condition would be better, but free pancakes comes right behind that"

Quote by neptune1988
"My tone should be like me........FAT! "
#8
some stupid bitch: I'm gonna kick yur ass!

me: Well, you know I would fight you but I dont think I could bring myself to harm an animal.
STOP TOUCHING ME! WHY ARE YOU STICKY?!
#9
Quote by cysquatch999
some stupid bitch: I'm gonna kick yur ass!

me: Well, you know I would fight you but I dont think I could bring myself to harm an animal.






#12
brother: you sad sack of crap, you suck!


Me: what? all i heard was you saying that you needed some more confetti for your gay pride parade.

brother: Touche...
My Gear:
epiphone les paul cusom, Limited edition. evo dimarzio pick ups
Parker P-38
epiphone hummingbird
line 6 flextone
crate vtx 120

head full of ideas.
#13
We need Meths in this thread, NOW.
Quote by redneckrebel
Wow...just wow




A clapstack? My life is complete.
#16
"Your Mother"


always works...

even if it doesn't make sense it still works...

highly lame, and somewhat unintelligent,

but y'know what? I don't care
#17
Quote by Shredder XXX
"Your Mother"


always works...

even if it doesn't make sense it still works...

highly lame, and somewhat unintelligent,

but y'know what? I don't care



I meant ones that you've made yourself.
#18
Quote by Hart_Attack
brother: you sad sack of crap, you suck!


Me: what? all i heard was you saying that you needed some more confetti for your gay pride parade.

brother: Touche...


#19
My friend was showing me something on his phone outside of school in the courtyard. You're not supposed to have phones at my school. This stupid asshole sees it and yells out OFFICER! HE'S GOT A PHONE! to the security guard. The security guard doesn't give a ****. I told him

Shut up youre fat and you cant play any sports.

Its funny cuz its true.
I believe in Rock and Roll. Can I get an Amen?

Quote by rizo299
A drunk guy on the the bus asked me if i remembered the 60's. I told him i was 17 then he told me that everyone remembers the 60's.

I thought about it, and frankly, I couldn't fault his logic.
#20
Quote by MrDURPEEDURP
I meant ones that you've made yourself.




seems i messed up...


attempt no.2:

There was this girl at the last place i worked, who would always ask questions, to which the answer was obvious e.g. *person walks in with a tattoo* "Did you get a tattoo?"

Anyhoo, I got a hair cut and of course she asked "did you get a haircut?"

To which i replied "Nope, I got a shut-up cut"

Many weeks of answering every question with the word shut-up followed,

Even lamer, and this definitely hasn't saved my credibility in this thread

*leaves ashamed*
#21
Quote by original_idiot

Shut up youre fat and you cant play any sports.

Its funny cuz its true.


Even though the kid seems highly annoying...who the f*** cares if he can't play sports?

Anyway...some douches were making fun of me once cuz i had pants on that were a bit big, but they weren't showing very much, just like...the band of my underwear, and just as i was about to pull them up, one of them yells "PULL UP YOUR PANTS" and just keeps going on about it. So, I turned to him, and I said "If you're so enfatuated with my panties...give me your address and i'll send you a pair."
And to his friend:
"As for you, this is the closest thing you'll get to seeing a girl in her panties, so, enjoy it while it lasts."
I kid you not, the first kid goes:
"I don't even know what enfatuated means..."
I had never experienced speechlessness up to that point...
#22
"What no comeback?"
"If I wanted my cum back, I'd get it off your mums face".

Best your mumma joke ever.
#23
Insult: "God, learn to play a real guitar and stop playing Guitar Hero."

Comeback: "God, stop playing Call of Duty and go join the fricking army already."

OTHER Comeback: "God, stop playing Grand Theft Auto and go steal a car already."
Quote by redneckrebel
Wow...just wow




A clapstack? My life is complete.
#25
Your mom is a pretty good one

Also I'm a fan for just blurting out: You suckas just got served!!!!
#27
Quote by Selkies921
You suckas just got served!!!!


I'd hit you if you said that to me.
I hope it's cold, everyday, where you are.
#28
dude, no one likes you..

get 'em every time.
Quote by SteveHouse
M. Night Shyamallama

#29
I went to school with this Muslim chick. She wore one of those scarf thingies over her head. I asked her why her religion makes woman wear those things.
She said "I wear them to hide my beauty". Now she was at least 100 kilograms and had hair on her knuckles. So I said "sh-t, it's doing a good job".
She than ran out of the classroom crying and all the girls at my school hated me.

Not really a comeback as it was me just being a dick.
#30
Quote by Rhythm__Guitar
I went to school with this Muslim chick. She wore one of those scarf thingies over her head. I asked her why her religion makes woman wear those things.
She said "I wear them to hide my beauty". Now she was at least 100 kilograms and had hair on her knuckles. So I said "sh-t, it's doing a good job".
She than ran out of the classroom crying and all the girls at my school hated me.

Not really a comeback as it was me just being a dick.


The girls may hate you, but I simply love you!
Good call.
Signatures are overrated.
#33
A friend and I were discussing something and he says

"Are you constipated? Do you have enough fibre in your diet?"

Me : "I'm not constipated, and I have enough fibre in my diet, thanks".

Him : "So, it comes out like soup?"

So I replied with "Yeah, on your girlfriend's chest."
New To Town With A Made Up Name

In The Angel's City

Chasing Fortune And Fame
09/03/2012
#34
Quote by Alter-Bridge
A friend and I were discussing something and he says

"Are you constipated? Do you have enough fibre in your diet?"

Me : "I'm not constipated, and I have enough fibre in my diet, thanks".

Him : "So, it comes out like soup?"

So I replied with "Yeah, on your girlfriend's chest."


How generic.
Signatures are overrated.
#35
Quote by Rhythm__Guitar
I went to school with this Muslim chick. She wore one of those scarf thingies over her head. I asked her why her religion makes woman wear those things.
She said "I wear them to hide my beauty". Now she was at least 100 kilograms and had hair on her knuckles. So I said "sh-t, it's doing a good job".
She than ran out of the classroom crying and all the girls at my school hated me.

Not really a comeback as it was me just being a dick.

win


just win
#36
Quote by Rhythm__Guitar
I went to school with this Muslim chick. She wore one of those scarf thingies over her head. I asked her why her religion makes woman wear those things.
She said "I wear them to hide my beauty". Now she was at least 100 kilograms and had hair on her knuckles. So I said "sh-t, it's doing a good job".
She than ran out of the classroom crying and all the girls at my school hated me.

Not really a comeback as it was me just being a dick.


So ****ing win
We are "PSYCHONAUT", Psychedelic/Stoner/Sludge from Belgium.

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#37
Quote by Rhythm__Guitar
I went to school with this Muslim chick. She wore one of those scarf thingies over her head. I asked her why her religion makes woman wear those things.
She said "I wear them to hide my beauty". Now she was at least 100 kilograms and had hair on her knuckles. So I said "sh-t, it's doing a good job".
She than ran out of the classroom crying and all the girls at my school hated me.

Not really a comeback as it was me just being a dick.


Awesome dude, pure fvcking win.
Best dirty pick-up line...
Quote by hide_the_beer
I wish you were my homework so I could slam you on my desk and do you all night long
#38
I know you are but what am I?


But seriously whenever someone starts trying to argue/own me etc and I don't feel like arguing all I have to say is 'Mate, if I wanted to hear sh*t I'd sit on the toilet." Quite simple but it seems to work.
#39
I never get comebacks directed towards me. Wanna know why?

"You're a blowjob."

...
#40
One day my bros girlfriend was being a ****
me:ya know whats ugly?
her: no
me: your face

it made her cry

someone beat me to your face but i like the story
ಠ_ಠ
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