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#1
What are some of the strangest or weirdest lyrics to any song you know??? and whats the song and artist and stuff like that too???
Quote by Minkaro
Schizophrenia rap?

*beatboxes*

I have schizophrenia, I talk to myself,
People startin' to doubt my mental health,
Maybe someday I'll get the help I need,
But till then don't be blamin' mah weed.

*scratches*
#2
Bob Dylan ftw.


You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel
To be such a freak?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "What does this mean?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?
#4
Tool - rosetta stoned


Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...

Holy f**king ****!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my f**kin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,
"F**k me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherf**kin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from f**kin' high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this **** never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this **** never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold [and] eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, **** the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
**** the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed *
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, **** the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12)

God damn, **** the bed!
Albums I Must Obtain
Call me Paul. I prefer that.
Quote by fretsonfire74
I think you're my soulmate
#5
This song pretty much sums it up for me...

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dogfish
Chased by a catfish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhale
HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!
#6
bring me the horizon- braile

It's 3:18, mouth tastes like the corpse of every pregnant teen
LTD M-100FM
THE BEEST!
#8
I agree with pbiggie. Not much gets crazier than Rosetta Stoned...
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████
█████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████

You're just another brick in the wall
#9
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)

Well I'm not there all the time you know
Some people, some people, some people,
Call it insane, yeah they call it insane, (sugar)
I play Russian roulette everyday, a man's sport,
With a bullet called life, yeah called life,(sugar)
You know that every time I try to go
Where I really want to be,
It's already where I am,
Cause I'm already there….(sugar)

The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)

I got a gun the other day from Sako,
It's cute, small, fits right in my pocket,
Yeah, right in my pocket, (sugar)
My girl, you know, she lashes out at me sometimes,
And I just ****ing kick her, and then she's O.K. ,she's O.K.(sugar)
People are always chasing me down,
Trying to push my face to the ground,
Where all they really want to do,
Is suck out my mother ****ing brains, my brains (sugar).

The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray~,

I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,
Just anger, I've killed everyone,
I'm away forever, but I'm feeling better,
How do I feel, What do I say,
**** you, it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
**** you, it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away.

Sugar - SOAD
Xbox Live tag: Dream Away Rain
Add!

Quote by marko'd
dont sweat how quick your progressing, i heard that Jimi hendrix didnt get his legendary guitar skills until he was dead


Quote by Dreadnought
+ MOTHERFUCKIN' 1
#10
The world's just a sphere. No bigger than the balls you suck.

-John Frusciante (Curtains)
#11
debaser by the pixies

got me a movie
i want you to know
slicing up eyeballs
i want you to know
girlie so groovy
i want you to know
don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia
wanna grow
up to be
be a debaser, (debaser)
debaser, (debaser)
debaser, (debaser)
debaser, (debaser)
debaser, (debaser)
debaser, (debaser)

got me a movie
ha ha ha ho
slicing up eyeballs
ha ha ha ho
girlie so groovie
ha ha ha ho
don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia
i am un chien andalusia

(debaser), debaser
(debaser), debaser
(debaser), debaser
(debaser), debaser
(debaser), debaser
(debaser), debaser
Quotes from other UGers in your signatures that talk about how good you are suck donkey schlong.
#12
Any song by Crotchduster really.

Sliptoflappy rappy
And a carpal tunnel pudding flanker
Nabble and a stampy and a
Pigeon smelling generator
See a chitlin wafer and a
Chocolate buttered horses ass
Frabble obble abble and a
Stupid monkey chicken gas
Chinese diarrhea prison carpet
Chunky harplegig
Nopaliaseah perforated
Purple parkle pig

My mammal sauce is the best mammal sauce
Spread mammal sauce on my wang
We make mammal sauce in bill williams loft
And we eat a bucket of tang
#13
Quote by leafy
debaser by the pixies


that song annoys me so much i love it.

sikth's bland street bloom has absurd lyrics. i only pay attention to the guitar parts though.
#14
I Am The Walrus anyone?
My Music Videos

Guitars:
Breedlove Revival Series OM
Crosby Fingerstyle Model
Voyage-Air VAOM-06
Fender Stratocaster (American)
Fender Nashville Deluxe Tele
#15
Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head - They Might Be Giants

As your body floats down third street
With the burn-smell factory closing up
Yes its sad to say you will romanticize
All the things you've known before
It was not not not so great
It was not not not so great
And as you take a bath in that beaten path
Theres a pounding at the door
Well its a mighty zombie talking of some love and posterity
He says the good old days never say good-bye
If you keep this in your mind:
You need some lo-lo-loving arms
You need some lo-lo-loving arms
And as you fall from grace the only words you say are

Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head

Ads up in the subway are the work of someone
Trying to please their boss
And though the guys a pig we all know what he wants
Is just to please somebody else
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
It would be a better thing for everyone involved
And we wouldnt have to cry

Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head

Memo to myself: do the dumb things I gotta do
Touch the puppet head

Quit my job down at the carwash
Didn't have to write no-one a good-bye note
That said, the checks in the mail, and
Ill see you in church, and dont you ever change
If the pu-pu-puppet head
Was only bu-bu-busted in
Ill see you after school

Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head
#16
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister city policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like lucy in the sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, i'm crying.
I'm crying, i'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the english rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the eiffel tower.
Elementary penguin singing hari krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking edgar allan poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.
My Music Videos

Guitars:
Breedlove Revival Series OM
Crosby Fingerstyle Model
Voyage-Air VAOM-06
Fender Stratocaster (American)
Fender Nashville Deluxe Tele
#17
A lot of silverchair.

Across the night - "I hugged a man's arthritic shoulder"


DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#19
Zoo Monkies by Iron Muskrat

Zoo monkies in the dead of night
Zoo monkies startin' a fight
Zoo monkies breakin' my balls
Get those monkies outta my halls

Zoo monkies are in the basement
Zoo monkies are in the shower
Zoo monkies don't play bass guitar
Zoo monkies are made of flowers

Zoo monkies in the dark of night
Zoo monkies 'fraid of the light
Zoo monkies breakin my fetus's skin
Dingo paw
#20
just about anything by frank black / pixies:

you crazy baby bathsheba, i wancha
you're suffocating you need a good shed
i'm tired of living, shebe, so gimme
dead!
[first verse of Dead]

or from franks solo stuff:

Now if they take it h.g. wells
Well, Ill be on the first flight
To a time before the kong
Whatever happended to pong?

Paddle the paddle to the side to the side
To the side to the side to the paddle the paddle
Paddle the paddle the side to the side
Pong
Ball in the machine
[Whatever happened to Pong?]
"Help me God. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I need 8 hours a day ...and about 10 at night and i'm good..."
#21
Zappa FTW:

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of Dental Floss Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
For somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep the wax N' melt it down
Pluck some Floss N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top

(that's why I'M movin' to Montana)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I might Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon

(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)

Movin' to Montana soon
NO ONE EVER READS MY POSTS.
#23
Quote by Monkey Biscuits
"Does the fish have chips!?"

"Immaculate molars baby, immaculate molars"

Anyway...

Milk Man- Aphex Twin

I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning

I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
#26
anything by Waking the Cadvar or Annotations of an Autopsy

Waking the Cadvar - Chased Through the Woods By A Rapist

Tonight this **** will pay.
My dick will beat her face.
Her life and her **** are mine.
This slut shall now see.

All night on this bitch I release my piece.
Yes. Yes. I am the man.
And I will kill when I can.
You can try to run.
Burt your done.
Run.
Gun to your head.
One more sound and your dead.
Kick in your teeth.
With my **** piece.

Sweet labial meat.
Her inside out twat.
Tastes great to eat.
Dripping and slipping and oozing and flowing with spit.
This vile slit.
Will ghost ride my prick.

Blood pours from her tender throat.
I left her bound to a tree.
Nude. Mangled. Butchered and Blasted.
Now these skanks know not to **** with me.

Annotations of an Autopsy - Sludge City

She bled from every ****ing hole
First step: rip out entrails
From her bloody ****
Nothing but a piece of meat, nothing but a *****
I'm sick and tired of ****ing *****s
I'm trying sodomy with saws
Let's see how ****ing hot she is
With her arsehole ripped to bits
Straight up her arse goes my blade
Thrusting deeply
Nothing but a *****
****er
Disembowl her ****ing body
Make her feel it
When I'm done with you, you won't have a **** left
And on the 7th day God created METAL!
#27
Mew.

Seriously, make sense of those and you get a medal.
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."
#28
A Little Piece Of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold.
Quote by Kensai


Awesome guy right here
#29
Also,
Gin Pomelo, by Radio Active Sago Project.

Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
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Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
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Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo

(trumpet fill-in)

Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
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Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo.
#30
Quote by 601210
Also,
Gin Pomelo, by Radio Active Sago Project.

Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo

Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo

(trumpet fill-in)

Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo
Gin pomelo gin pomelo gin pomelo.


This thread has its fair share of weird song lyrics. This, though, takes the prize.
#32
"An Occurrence During The Restoration Process"

Bought a picture of jesus,
Held it in the mirror and he saw a picture of himself,
Spoke life to the children,
You see things aren't put into words
They're polished and not felt. you might be right.

Look behind the bush lies a rivertree,
Hands cuffed and bound so as to limit speech,
Woke up to keep an eye on everything,
Maybe the statue will step out and make a scene,
Look behind the bush lies a rivertree,
Hands cuffed and bound so as to limit speech,
Woke up to keep an eye on everything,
Maybe the statue will step out and make a scene.

Raise your hand,
Like an animal,
Raise your voice,
Like an avalanche,
Raise you hand,
Like a senator,
Raise your voice.

Dear abby,
Thanx for the message,
Gonna bring some gifts of freedom,
To compensate for whats on the inside,
Compensate for whats on the inside,
Dear charlie,
Changed with the in crowd,
Made your mark on jesus,

I'll see you again when hell freezes over,
See you again when hell freezes over.

An Occurance During the Restoration Process - Fair to Midland
"If you don't show it, I cannot grope it."

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.."
#33
don't want your ****ing dogma,
I don't believe in what you preach,
I don't want your ****ing bull****,
You infect everyone you teach.

You offer prepacked salvation,
For the guilty chosen few,
You say we're all just sinners,
Say it to the altar boy you screw.

You make me sick with what you do.
Lies and guilt and hate, are what you spew.
You do it over and over and over again.
Take your god and shove it up your ass!

Ignoring real problems,
That you've hidden in denial,
Living in the past,
Ruining people's lives.

You talk about family values,
Well, I'll tell you that's a joke.
You talk about family values,
While on some young boy's **** you choke.

You make me sick with what you do.
Lies and guilt and hate, are what you spew.
You do it over and over and over again.
Take your god and shove it up your ass!

Treating women like they're servants,
Like they're baby factories.
Treating gays like some sickness,
You're so ****ing diseased!

You say I can't beat off or screw,
Or else I'm going to hell,
I'll beat off right in your ****ing face,
You think I ****ing care?

You make me sick with what you do.
Lies and guilt and hate, are what you spew.
You do it over and over and over again.
Take your god and shove it up your ass!

**** The Pope - Anti-flag
#34
Quote by BenRaah
Most stuff by SOAD


Dude if you actually pay attention to alot of their songs it's actually politically enraged, not saying all of their songs are political especially Vicinity of Obsenity or Bounce.
#35
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
#36
the line in procal harem's a whiteer shade of pale: you set the lights fanadango (the signer sed it means nothing, it just sounds good) and right he is.
#37
Quote by crazykid3000
This song pretty much sums it up for me...

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dogfish
Chased by a catfish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhale
HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!

I'm glad someone posted this, or I'd have had to!
Now 100% humour free, in accordance with the rules.

.fm
.wordpress
#38
Anything by hurriganes. There's nothing like music sung by a Finn who knows lots of English words, but not the meaning of a single one of them.
#39
This cocaine makes me feel like I'm on this song by SOAD

There's something wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
And we're crying for our next fix

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
And we're crying for our next fix

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings

I can't see your souls, souls through through your eyes
The crying walls of sliding architecture
Kidnapped by the likes of pure conjecture
Upholstery loving men all dwelling in the wells
Kidnapped by the likes of pure conjecture

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
Wrong with you and I
And we're crying for our next fix

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
Wrong with you and I
And we're crying for our next fix

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings
Single files of clean feedings

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you

Don't eat the fish


Bad ass song though
Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
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