#1
Crit for Crit!!


Pour all the things you want me to do into a paper cup,
I’ll drink it eventually.
I’m to busy trying to get out of the alleyways of my young mind.

Can you look at today,
and tell me why it doesn’t resemble yesterday?
I guess time is getting older too.

Nothing is ever as it seems,
and it’s not okay with me,
but it’s something I have to get used to.
At least for now, because it’s not going to change.

The water in the sea seems like it’s getting to old to swim.
The wind is up their in age too.
Mother Nature is getting grey now that I think about it.

Remember when the world was our friend?
Holding our hand like there was nothing to be scared of.
I now assume it’s true people change when they grow up.

Innocence is gone, but what can we do?
Nothing is the answer, reality, and the frightening truth.
Follow me on twitter and junk @GodDammitZack
Last edited by Striped_Monkey5 at May 30, 2008,
#2
Hey man. Your title doesn't quite fit the accepted standard of titles. Read the rules, please.

This thread will be closed, not by me so don't go hating!

But you're free to post again with the accepted title once you've read the rules
#3
i like it alot! i write similar things, so i could relate to it majorly. unfortunately im in a bit of a rush so i can't crit it right now.

nice work though!
#4
@ Striped_Monkey5 - Please read the rules in the announcement at the top of this forum.

@ Bleed Away - report threads like this so they get get closed promptly and we move forward.


*reported*


...
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.