#1
Eventually it'll spread through all of us,
The ubiquitous pathogen that deadens the senses
And we'll harden and we'll crumble,
Festering in unwelcome sunlight.

Oh, for a way, for a way to escape
From the maze and the haze and the face of old age
As the hours laze on longer but days seem yet shorter,
Ablaze but ice-cold with the absent engagement.

The purpose expires before its time,
And time outlives its purpose.

Let's everyone here make a deal
So we'll all die young before we need
To be hooked up to hulking behemoth machines,
Cables and tubes protruding from every orifice
And the veins in our arms
And the nerves in our brains
And the spark in our souls.
Let's set life to Time-Attack mode.

Stay awake.
#3
As the hours laze on longer but days seem yet shorter,


This line read fairly awkwardly compared to the others in that stanza. The syntax is very off putting. As was "laze on longer", it tripped the tongue in a bad way.

I really liked the idea out forward, though felt it didn't really get meaty until after the half-way point. The opening seemed stuffy compared to it, and the leap from that to the behemoth machines was unsettling. However it served to emphasise the drama, so maybe it works.

This wasn't a bad little piece.

Care to return on the top link in my sig? Thanks if you could.