#1
This is my attempt at making lyrics that go with death metal, without sounding like an angry 5 year old ranting about how much he hates God and Loves Satan, or a sick serial rapist who.... well.... rapes dead people.

It's not finished yet, I have 2 verses so far, developments will be posted a.s.a.p. The structure is based around the 'demo song' on my profile.


Descend the almighty rain,
At the eve of triumph and serenity,
With favour of gods and pardon of sins,
With all-seeing eyes and dexterity.

Bring winds of Divinity,
Carry out the will of the gods,
'Shou shalt not kill' forever in doubt,
Persist with Putrid Ignorance.


tell me what you think, any feedback is appreciated, as long as you're not just saying 'you suck' if you think that, say why.

Apologies for 2 threads, first was closed due to some rule-breaking concerning the title ¬.¬
#2
The only thing I don't like is the use of the word dexterity along with "all-seeing eyes,"

I just don't see it fitting, but whatever.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#4
I know what you were trying to say, but it's just my personal preference, if you like it keep it.

It is your song
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory