#1
I'll give you an example.

Johnny is a UGer.
Johnny is fapping.
Johnny finishes up.
*Biology kicks in, Johnny now needs a slash to clear out his pen0rz*
Johnny must get from bedroom to bathroom, sticky and with a semi-on.

God apparently made Johnny, remember.

I need more examples like this! I'm going to recite them while beating on the 'Proving the earth is only a few thousand years old' kid.
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


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Last edited by TheFishMan92 at Jun 1, 2008,
#4
Quote by NxVx89
If God is the answer, it must have been a dumbass question


If God is the answer, then someone divided by zero!
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#5
Quote by dean.guitar.man
i never knew ur name was johnny thefishman92


Sh*t! Cover (and something else) blown!
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#6
What is a slash
And why would I put one near my penis?

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jthm_guitarist
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Last edited by jthm_guitarist at Jun 1, 2008,
#7
Quote by jthm_guitarist
What is a slash
And why would I put one near my penis?


English term for a piss, and the GnR guitarist..
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#8
god sends 100's even 1000's of tornados through the "bible belt" each year killing many "good christians"
#9
Well...if Johnny wasn't being such a...English Cigarette and got a sock then this could've been avoided...or at least part of it could've been
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#11
Quote by ZAPPA J_RULZ
god sends 100's even 1000's of tornados through the "bible belt" each year killing many "good christians"



haha yeah, there a church every ****ing block out here. but though so many tornados none barley ever hit
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#13
Ahhh you see, God is a bastard because he doesn't have legitimate parents
"Time doesn't exist here, we will never die."

-Celldweller
#14
dude lay off the acid
I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mohandas Gandhi
#15
God blessed me with two heads,
but cursed me with only enough blood to support one at a time.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#16
i suggest that you come up with an actual syllogism when presenting an argument (and lol at the semi-pun there with 'jism'). because at the moment, this makes absolutely no sense. it sounds like someone smoking weed having an epiphany.
#DTWD
#17
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
God blessed me with two heads,
but cursed me with only enough blood to support one at a time.

I think that's the most overdone thing i've seen you post, SYK. Shame on you
#18
Quote by primusfan
i suggest that you come up with an actual syllogism when presenting an argument. because at the moment, this makes absolutely no sense. it sounds like someone smoking weed having an epiphany.


This is the Pit. You hang your sense up at the door.

DRUGS ARE BAD!!!
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#19
God is a terrorist.

Edit: You want syllogism?! You got it!

The wrath of God coerces people through fear into behaving 'righteously' to avoid hell and gain access to heaven, when in reality, God doesn't exist, but was created to achieve the affect of a good, moral society.
Terrorists scare people with their terror tactics in order to achieve a particular effect
Therefore, God is a terrorist.
Last edited by DorkusMalorkus at Jun 1, 2008,
#20
Quote by fretsonfire74
I think that's the most overdone thing i've seen you post, SYK. Shame on you
you know i have been nominated for most likely to become a serial killer.


*writes fretsonfire74 in notebook*
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#22
Quote by ChordMonger
"If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to
Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is able, but not willing
Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing
Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing
Then why call Him God?"
"Thou shalt not judge God." -- God.


Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#24
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
"Thou shalt not judge God." -- God.

To ****ing bad. -- The sane people in the world.
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I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


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#25
Quote by DorkusMalorkus
God is a terrorist.

Edit: You want syllogism?! You got it!

The wrath of God coerces people through fear into behaving 'righteously' to avoid hell and gain access to heaven, when in reality, God doesn't exist, but was created to achieve the affect of a good, moral society.
Terrorists scare people with their terror tactics in order to achieve a particular effect
Therefore, God is a terrorist.


Not bad.

Quote by ChordMonger
"If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to
Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is able, but not willing
Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing
Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing
Then why call Him God?"


Sig worthy.
Quote by Article
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#26
Quote by DorkusMalorkus
God is a terrorist.

Edit: You want syllogism?! You got it!

The wrath of God coerces people through fear into behaving 'righteously' to avoid hell and gain access to heaven, when in reality, God doesn't exist, but was created to achieve the affect of a good, moral society.
Terrorists scare people with their terror tactics in order to achieve a particular effect
Therefore, God is a terrorist.


What he said.
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#27
uh, if god loves us, why does he send us to burn in hell for all of eternity?

if it takes 10 people to translate something bin laden said and none of them say the EXACT same thing, how can the bible, that has been translated - or should i say mistranslated - idk how many times, possibly be right?


he is a bastard
#28
Quote by chrismacker
uh, if god loves us, why does he send us to burn in hell for all of eternity?


Because YOU don't love him back.

How'd you feel if you created a little town of people and you loved them but then some didn't believe that you existed and made fun of the ones who loved you back?
"There are millions of people in the world, and none of those people are an extra. They're all leads in their own stories."
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#30
Quote by ChordMonger
thats not me man
its usually attributed to Epicurius
but if you want to sig it, spread the good times


I had a feeling you were quoting someone else... no one on UG is that clever
Quote by Article
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying "That's yours"

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#31
Quote by myself101
Because YOU don't love him back.

How'd you feel if you created a little town of people and you loved them but then some didn't believe that you existed and made fun of the ones who loved you back?



you idiot.
youre making the assumption that god would give a 'human' reaction to a connundrum that cannot, will not and never can apply to humans.
if god is all-powerful, has no physical needs, and exists outside of time, sexuality, gender, wealth, class, power, and society in general, why would the reaction of a god be the same as what you assume a person (who has none of those qualities) would feel? what makes you even think god has 'feelings'?

you assumptive pr!ck. give up. you cant have a logical argument to support faith, because FAITH is the complete and polar opposite of LOGIC. either state that you believe in spite of a complete lack of evidence, simply BECAUSE its the nature of faith, or stop trying and become an atheist. theres no room for logic in religion, which is exactly why its not for me.
#32
God is actually a Large Hadron Collider from another universe. You see, when you set one off, it divides by zero and creates a new universe inside the old one. So when we set ours off in 35 days or whatever, we will create a new chain of universes.
#33
Look at Vornik's free will post made in the religion thread a while ago.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#34
Quote by DorkusMalorkus
God is a terrorist.

Edit: You want syllogism?! You got it!

The wrath of God coerces people through fear into behaving 'righteously' to avoid hell and gain access to heaven, when in reality, God doesn't exist, but was created to achieve the affect of a good, moral society.
Terrorists scare people with their terror tactics in order to achieve a particular effect
Therefore, God is a terrorist.


so therefore every law is a form of terrorism? governments create the fear of prison to deter people from wrongdoing? or are prisons just created in order to exact justice and ensure order? and the second clause in your first premise makes the conclusion illogical. it sounded like you just wanted to rant and be angry in a witty fashion. kudos, i suppose.

and chordmonger, as for your argument (well not your argument, the one you stole from an ancient greek named epicurus). firstly, if he is able and not willing it does not necessarily mean he is malevolent. it depends on his intent. that is not to say he isn't willing though. god does things in time. humans are just impatient and expect immediacy. deists avoid this problem by denying an interventionist god who has a moral code. theists avoid the problem by the assurance of heaven and the end of evil at the end of time. secondly, the problem of evil is not much of a problem if you accept the principle of double effect as valid. while god wants man to ultimately be at peace and without suffering, he permits evil because otherwise we would not be able to truly love him. by leaving humans the option, love for god and brother actually has meaning as we choose freely to do it and likewise he loves us enough to let us hate him. conversely, with an option god only allows evil, yet he does not cause it. god did not create evil either. because primarily it is a destruction rather than a creation. god created good and evil is the perversion or lack of that good as perpetrated by free, willing beings.

if god is all-powerful, has no physical needs, and exists outside of time, sexuality, gender, wealth, class, power, and society in general, why would the reaction of a god be the same as what you assume a person (who has none of those qualities) would feel? what makes you even think god has 'feelings'?


because there are various parts to a human that make them limited although both god and man share intellect and will (which is what 'imago dei' refers to).
#DTWD
#35
Quote by ChordMonger
you idiot.
youre making the assumption that god would give a 'human' reaction to a connundrum that cannot, will not and never can apply to humans.
if god is all-powerful, has no physical needs, and exists outside of time, sexuality, gender, wealth, class, power, and society in general, why would the reaction of a god be the same as what you assume a person (who has none of those qualities) would feel? what makes you even think god has 'feelings'?

you assumptive pr!ck. give up. you cant have a logical argument to support faith, because FAITH is the complete and polar opposite of LOGIC. either state that you believe in spite of a complete lack of evidence, simply BECAUSE its the nature of faith, or stop trying and become an atheist. theres no room for logic in religion, which is exactly why its not for me.


Fuck, calm down.

I thought my post was clearly tongue and cheek....apparently not.

I also found your post quite offensive, it'd be nice if we kept the nasty name calling out of UG ay?
"There are millions of people in the world, and none of those people are an extra. They're all leads in their own stories."
<//////>~
#37
Bob pushes a rock onto Fred.
Fred is killed by the rock - it crushes him and destroys his vital organs.
Even though it was the rock that kills Fred, the blame passes to Bob - he knew the rock would fall on Fred and kill him, and he still put the rock in a position so that it would fall on him. So, Bob killed Fred.

Now, here's another scenario - God created a guy named Cain who strikes down Abel (I probably spelt their names wrong). Now, it was Cain who killed Abel, but why shouldn't the blame pass to God? He created Cain and put in in a position where he would grow up, feel jealous of Abel or whatever happened, and kill him. God knew Cain would kill Abel when he created him, and God could have prevented it - for example, he could have made Cain a pacifist, he could have put him in a position where he wouldn't have been jealous, he could have made him too God-fearing to kill someone - but no, he didn't. God made Cain a murderer, therefore knowingly caused Abel's death, therefore the blame passes to God. God killed Abel.
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