#1
Beneath these, heroin eyes
Tears dry
Reminiscent of the times I cried
When my life was in the gutter
Sleeping on the streets at night
Behind the, heroin eyes
I saw the twilight sky until the sun did rise
Stayed up until dawn
Never slept when I was high
With my heroin eyes
I saw the lit up skies.
#2
I really liked it... It could use a little more to it, but I think that if you left it like this It woulkd still be there, although, some of it is bordering on cliche, maybe revise some of the cheesier lines, like... "When my life was in the gutter..." You could use more imagery in that line. Another line I don't think is neccisary is "Stayed up until dawn..." You basically said that in the previous line: "...until the sun did rise...". That's just my thoughts.