#1
First 4 answers chosen will continue the story.


You wake up in Barbados, located in upstate Harlem, Chicago. You are in an orange room, alone except for your bed, a dictionary, MacGuyver, and a map of Peru. You see a floating muffin above your head. You find out that it is a bomb. There are 3 ways to defuse the bomb:

A. Summon the Idiot's Guide to Necromancy
B. Use a screwdriver conveniently placed on you pet orca
C. Ask MacGuyver to defuse the bomb for you, in exchange for your virginity
#2
Number 3 please.
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My two pennies- theory. Learn it.
Skills. Get them.
Hair. Grow it to your ass.

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i can only keep it up for about 30 seconds before my fingers cramp up =[

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#3
Quote by Twisted Magnum
You wake up in Barbados, located in upstate Harlem, Chicago. You are in an orange room, alone except for your bed, a dictionary, MacGuyver, and a map of Peru. You see a floating muffin above your head. You find out that it is a bomb. There are 3 ways to defuse the bomb:

A. Summon the Idiot's Guide to Necromancy
B. Use a screwdriver conveniently placed on you pet orca
C. Ask MacGuyver to defuse the bomb for you, in exchange for your virginity


My Old Progressive Metal Band:
Acrasia
For fans of Between The Buried and Me, Dream Theater, Cynic.

My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
Wings Denied
For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
#8
C please.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
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God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


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that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


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Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#11
Quote by Twisted Magnum
Fuck spelling, THIS IS A RANDOM CYOA. YOUR STATEMENT IS INVALID.

Then is the statement of mine that you sigged also invalid?

Methinks it is.
#12
You say to MacGyver, "Dude, please help me out here. This bomb is like, gonna kill us if you dont defuse it."

Unfortunately, MacGyver only speaks and understands Portuguese

But out of nowhere, a potato appears and absorbs the bomb just as it was about to asplode everywhere. The potato dies in the process, as his innards are fried into delicious little chunks. You take a bite of one.


WRONG CHOICE RETARD

You are tripping on something fantasticly strong. You see dinosaurs, coffee mugs, and Al Pacino. After you're done tripping, you find out that you are in some strang rural place, surrounded by HDTV's and calculus homework. But suddenly, the homework come alive and begs you to finish it.

"DO US DO US!!!" they cry. "FINISH US AND WIPE YOUR SEMEN ON US!!"

You obviously hate homework and risk getting killed by the Pythagorean theorem. What do you do?

A. Run to Narnia and and drink Pepsi
B. Pull off some black belt shit on them
C. Do the homework (by choosing this, you are a fag)
#14
Eat the muffin
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#15
B por favor.
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dwelling on past mishaps is for the weak. you must stride into the future, unabashed and prepared to fuck up yet again.
#22
B

I always wanted to kick Pythagora's theorem's ass...
But remember, it has 300 minions (demonstrations), so highly martial arts' skills are required..
And then fap in homework's face, and find the derivative of the function that develops the semen's arc....
Then beat the crap out of that function...

Seems fair, as long as B wins...
#25
i choose which ever option will allow this hilarity to continue
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...AND WHY IS MY MUSIC GONE BUT NOT MY PORN!

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Turns out there's no God.
#27
Casually, you walk to Narnia, not paying attention to the beautiful HDTV's or calculus.

You fap the entire way there, until you finally reach Narnia. At the end however, you ejaculate into the face of Bob Barker, who is the town idiot.

You cry out "WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GET A PEPSI AROUND HERE MOTHERFUCKERS?"

Aragorn fires an arrow at you, but luckily, Aragorn is blind so he ends up shooting Barbara Bush. Upon her death however, a bottle of ice-cold Pepsi flies out fo her corpse.

You thank Aragorn- "THANKS FOR THE PEPSI YOU BLIND FUCKTARD."

He does a barrel roll and flies to safety.


You come to a 4-way (haha, 4-way) path and have to choose one.

A. Go to the land of blazing hot horny virgins
B. Use your computer printer to fly back to Puerto Rico
C. Stop by the local movie theater and watch Ultimate Guitar 4: Rise of The Pit
C. Masturbate furiously again
#30
you know what...i choose all four!
Quote by GeneralGrim

...AND WHY IS MY MUSIC GONE BUT NOT MY PORN!

Quote by Jack Off Jill
Turns out there's no God.
#32
C, because there are two of them.
Dingwall Afterburner I 5 string
Warwick Blue Cab 30 practice amp
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But hold on - you're debating on whether or not to buy a bass or keep your house? That's pretty fucking hardcore!
Last edited by pagiatis at Jun 1, 2008,
#33
Quote by Twisted Magnum
Casually, you walk to Narnia, not paying attention to the beautiful HDTV's or calculus.

You fap the entire way there, until you finally reach Narnia. At the end however, you ejaculate into the face of Bob Barker, who is the town idiot.

You cry out "WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GET A PEPSI AROUND HERE MOTHERFUCKERS?"

Aragorn fires an arrow at you, but luckily, Aragorn is blind so he ends up shooting Barbara Bush. Upon her death however, a bottle of ice-cold Pepsi flies out fo her corpse.

You thank Aragorn- "THANKS FOR THE PEPSI YOU BLIND FUCKTARD."

He does a barrel roll and flies to safety.


You come to a 4-way (haha, 4-way) path and have to choose one.

A. Go to the land of blazing hot horny virgins
B. Use your computer printer to fly back to Puerto Rico
C. Stop by the local movie theater and watch Ultimate Guitar 4: Rise of The Pit
C. Masturbate furiously again




And I totally pick C.
#37
C2. Which also means explosion. Which is close to explosm. Which is close to orgasm. Which is the result of fapping.

I MADES SENSE!
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#38
So you go the the movie theater and watch UG4, but it turns out that the movie theater is a strip club, the movie is The Best of Celine Dion: Volume 8, and the popcorn you are eating is Davy Jones.

Shocked by what happened, you feel like having a lap dance, since you are already in a strip club. You order a Jesus on the rocks with cola and await your lap dance.

It turns out that Mechagodzilla is the one dancing and smears fecal matter all over your mother. Who is dead.


And is buried in Nagoya, Minnesota.

So you walk out traumatized, severely wanting to leave this shithole. You decide to use that printer tucked away in your vagina to fly home. As it takes off, running on the last 1/2 cup of Earth's oil, you reach deep, dark space. Just the like the dark, smelly cavern you call the remnants of Oprah's vaginal recesses.

Out in space, you see a small, fleeting glimpse of Earth. It's STILL completely purple, enforced by the regime of The Artist Formerly Known As Prince (Smalldick). You try to enter the atmosphere.

However, there are small patrol dolphins flying around, blocking your entrance. What do you do?

A. Try to politely ask them to grant you entry into Earth
B. Have sex. With your hand
C. Finish the last 3 chapters of Reaching Homosexual Nirvana
D. Go apeshit on their blowholes (involves shaving cream and a ladder)