#1
Right, so last night I started writing a song/poem for my best friend who's got me through a lot of stuff in the last year, so it was like a way of sort of saying thanks really.

I haven't got any better title for it apart from "For Becci" at the moment.

Its only a start, so any suggestions taken greatly.
Thanks


We've already been through a lot
And I tell you I haven't forgot
A single talk we've had
Some were happy, and some were sad

Sometimes, I get the funny feeling
Seems like all my wounds are healing
And I'd owe it all to you
Cuz you got me through

All the sticky times I've had
Them times when I just felt a tad
Under the weather, under the world
And I just wanted to say

I'll be there for you when you need me
And I know I can garuntee
That I'll be there with you
When you're feeling rather blue
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha
#2
Okay, well I'm tired, so I'll make this quick, happy/sad? You could do better.
I get that this is a song for someone, but it is kinda cheesy, it's not bad... but it is still cheesy.
I think that you could be more creative with it, but you have a good base.
The last verse is good, just switch the last to lines, I think that would sound better.
#3
Haha yeah. I did knock it up in about 10 mins, and it's my first attempt at writing a song for someone, but like i said, its just a rough framework to be honest.

Thanks for the input.
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha
#4
Bumpy
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha
#5
like Krispy Chicken said its a litttle cliche
its a good start and i'm not saying its bad
its just not great
so play with it a little maybe making it longer might make it better i dunno
#6
Yeah well thats just a framework. Like when people build a building thats the foundations.
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha