#1
Dusty tattered streamers flap on the left,
an air conditioner rattles till death
Its sound drowned by an fm radio.

Beach Boys lyrics fill the air while
eager patrons stop to stare at
cars with old history instead of new.

Holes covered with putty cement,
stench of pine and lemon scent,
rust hidden behind shiny paint
Honest Sam’s Has A Vehicle For You!

We promise you the cheapest rates
see our flyers for rebates
Don’t worry, that scratch will come out!

We’re here to offer the greatest deals
just come on in and see our steals
free balloons for your kids, seniors too!

Salesmen with slicked back hair
stalk the store's showroom floor for
the next sucker they can dupe

Business is really booming today
must be the new ad on the interstate
the one that promises a “t.v. with sale”

Someone bought the XJ-6
one with no brakes left to fix
the new owner shakes an oily hand
Honest Sam’s: Isurance Is For Fools!

Leave your worries at the door
you’re safe with us , rest assure
the customer is always number one

Ask about our President’s Day Sale
We’ll send you coupons in the mail
Just don’t report us to the B.B.A.

Honest Sam’s: We’ll make a deal
Come on in, get behind the wheel
Don’t worry, that’ll fix with glue.
Quote by richwatkinson
haha You pwned an entire website....i bow down...

TheDudeBox
Last edited by Brandon860 at Jun 5, 2008,
#2
I don't get it. It sounds like your either picturin the perfect car lot or you wanna sell me a car. Not sure which.
#3
Had an experience with buying a crap car? Good stuff though, give it some work and it could be hilarious.
#4
Heh. not LOL, but this is cool in a humorous way. Sarcasm for the win.
I'm a pianist and a poet,
and someday the world will know it
But until then all that I can do
is play my songs for you.

Wallflower says: Thank You! But my friend Odd is, well, feeling odd.
#5
Hopefully I can be more constructive than some of the other comments

In general, I like it. It's an interesting topic, and I've never really read something like it. I like the combination of humour and the good poetic language. You've got some good internal rhyming. There's a few words I'd change up, and some small grammatical issues here and there, but that's not really a big deal. The only problem I really have is the repeated use of the name, which I'd prefer to hear maybe once.

Other than that, it was fun to read.
#6
I liked it, it was cool to picture it in my head.

I would change the line "Honest Sam's: We're out to kill you." To me this line seems...not exactly cliched but a little cheesy. I think it deserves some cleverness other than just saying "we're out to kill you".

Good work