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#1
Ok, this thread could sink like a stone, but we will give it a go and see what happens anyway. Basically this is a thread where you can post your favourite overblown Frasier Crane-style language metal reviews that you have seen which more or less let you know fuck all about the actual music being played.

I shall start with a gem from metal-observer.com, for Deathspell Omega's 'Fas: In Ite Malidicti, In Aegnum Aeturnum'


As of right now it’s 3:30 AM.

I’m sitting here because I cannot sleep. I don’t know what it is, or what feeling has overtaken me, but for some reason I cannot sleep. I decided to listen to some music, relaxing music, happy things like STARSAILOR, COLTRANE, BEETHOVEN, and a few Hip-Hop artists. Something compelled me though; something took hold of my weary soul and whispered venomous tongues into my ear, deafening the music. These sinister sounds were the reverberations of the darker side of man, all his faults, all his sins, the evil side of dualistic nature was being put forth in front of my eyes.

It was overwhelming.

It’s 3:58 AM.

I stepped outside for a cigarette, I quit awhile back but I just needed one right now. Something wasn’t right but the cool menthol of the Dunhill relaxed my brain and neck muscles. The tingling of the previous voice was gone. I decided to pace around for a bit and light another, it couldn’t hurt, I thought. I gazed upon the clouded moon. There were too many thick nebulous strings being waved in the sky to tell if it was full or not, but it was bright. It made me nervous. I took the last drag of the Dunhill and the dull sizzle of the burning tobacco calmed my senses. Time to go back in I suppose.

It’s 4:23 AM

The hallways seemed longer, the lights brighter, something was still not right. Fuzzy. Disorientating. Lights around me. I needed to lie down. So I walked back into my room. Then I felt it. The grip of madness. The whispers now grew into shrieks. The tongues into lashes upon my neck. The slow burning of the words became an incinerating force of lunacy. Yet amongst the chaos, the exasperating conglomeration of man’s sins, the hot irons of his evil, was order. It was structure. In the noise. It was structure.

It is “Fas - Ite, Maledicti, In Ignem Aeternum”.

It’s 5:15 A.M

I knew the pandemonium was familiar. It was as if everything was going on at once, yet it all ultimately compiled to nothing, and nothingness. The unsettling commencement of “Fas…” was something to truly be experienced. It was and the poison lurked underneath. The waves of peaceful tranquility of “Obombration” are underlined ever so subtly by a sinister force lurking beneath. A leviathan beneath the calm tranquil seas, ready to devour at any moment. And then, it appeared. It’s head massive, it jowls were gargantuan. They circled around me and I gazed into the beasts giant red eyes and felt what true horror was as the maw began to close around me. Inside. Chaotic. Painful. Sublime. I heard the Mad Laughter and I knew what the laughter was about. I began to smile. A lunatic’s smile. The chaos died and I was left with silence. Then it began again. The noise. Oh God the horrible noise! But in its unspeakable nature there dwelled a certain pang of beauty. Of order and structure and of art.

Then all fell silent once more.

I was adrift in some sort of ocean inside the beast. The rumbling had stopped and the darkness was unfathomable. The elegant yet barbaric sounds of before were gone, replaced now by the slow rhythms of Bitterness. I felt so alone in my drifting, my wading, for there really was nothing around, I could hear the beast roar and billow from time to time, but it did not overpower the sense of displacement. The peaceful sense could not be shaken off, yet the foreboding sense of dread came back swiftly and the formlessness returned. It was terrifying. I felt the gushing of waters and the unpredictable tempos of the waves crash upon me and force me further into the beast’s breast. I could no longer feel anything, my body bruised and battered and I lost consciousness somewhere along the way.

I awoke the distant howls and sharp notes. I looked around me, it was almost dry here. The moist land I laid upon moved slowly. I must’ve been dreaming….but if I was then where am I now? I looked around. The dark waters gave little light, but the moon came out and offered me some tranquility. I looked upon my Repellent Scars I received from the beast. His incomprehensible size had destroyed my flesh and wrecked havoc on my spirit. Now though, the sense of loneliness was pleasant. I knew the beast would not return. He was finished with me. I glanced into the small woods on this rock onto which I was beached. The noise I heard inside the beast seemed to come from these woods. I walked forward. Slowly. Surely. I was Abandoned. I came across a monolithic temple. Whose geometry was too confusing to make any sense to any human mind. The noises from before were here, they were powerful, painful and filled with torture. Yet ringing of intellect. I entered the temple and the noise was greeted with choirs, who greeted me with such disgust that the naked embarrassment of my soul was put forth. My scars were evident and they knew the turmoil I had been through. “Am I resurging, intact, out of infamy?”

As I approached the altars the praises grew quiet. A piano? It rang distant. Out of tune. Frightening.

Then the ceremony began. It was slow, monotonous and beautiful. The percussion slow and precise, the music itself was melodic and unsettling. I felt myself Lost. I wanted no more of this, this absolute freedom. I refused to be a the Chore For The Lost. The music began to grow loud, to grow magnificent. The melodies wrapped me in their power, the sense of dread was now replaced by a sense of wonder, bewilderment. Who was this god they praised?

The statues became life. The granite became flesh. The choir now singing praises, now singing hymns. The temple began living. Its heart beat slow and steady, its breath bearing a weight of guilt. It was sublime. I became one with my surroundings. The slow awkward assumption became a transcendental force of re-creation. It was a re-birth of tremendous proportions. The melodies wrapped me in their sublime compositions. The choirs rang clear, the piano in the distant became one in its disharmony. I was now in complete peace with everything around me. All sense of any fear replaced by the feeling of completeness, the Logos was now in me.

Just when the feeling became overwhelming……just when I thought my body could handle no more of the ecstasy I was thrust into a hole of nothingness. The final notes of the ceremony rang in my head. I was devoured, only to be spit back in a realm of fear, only to be reborn. The ceremony died and a small dull noise crept into my head. It was black again.

I heard the piano as I woke. Obombration I say aloud….not knowing why. I walked to my window. Was this a dream? If so then why was this fear still with me…..why was such a beautiful thing turned back into this crippling sense. I stared into the darkness. Sirens. Trumpets. Cymbals. Warfare. It was too much….”PERINDE AC CADAVER!” I shouted…..

It stopped.

It's 5:25 AM

I awoke once more. To find myself slumped over my desk. I stared back into the night; the only thing could remember was the phrase carved onto the temple entrance:

“God Of Terror, Very Low Dost Thou Bring Us, Very Low Hast Thou Brought Us...”
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#2
that review was useless

Anyway, I thought this thread was gonna be about reviews that champion the album more than it should be; so I was preparing to run for cover
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#3
Well it can be, just any ott reviews, be it fellation or nonsensical verbal wank.
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#4
Well, anything on anus.com.

But....I remember this gem from MA:

The fall of great artists can be attributed to many things; fame, superfluous changes of direction, stagnation and populist brainwashing to name a few obvious selections. Yet, these are irrelevant, as they are merely symptoms, not causes. In every case a destructive aphrodisiac, encased in a neat phial, is administered with a sharp injection into the surface of the mind. Its victims are many, few are seen to escape its shocking and hideous effects. Its name is passivity.

Death used to be a force to be reckoned with, taking to society with a hammer carved out of precise song writing, forever inventive, yet steadfast in thematic coherence. But, on “Individual Thought Patterns”, many things changed, the most noticeable is the peregrination from Death Metal to an aesthetic based largely around the “melodic” inclination that was frequented by Traditional Metal bands in the 70s and 80s. With more emphasis on tempo than those aforementioned contemporaries, this is Speed Metal, yet dressed up in a pretty pink costume and paraded before us like a ballerina, minus the grace and beauty.

As mentioned, Speed Metal is the predominate focus of the songs, but the run-of-the-mill composition lacks the intensity and spirit found in past greats such as Coroner, Cacophony and Judas Priest. It comes off as a hotchpotch of ideas held together with weak glue by choruses, palm-muted tremolo and a selection of misused power chords. The repetition of, then the transience of “technical” riffs marred with showy polyrhythmic frolicking dominates, as songs pass in a blur, nothing of memorable value to note. Sure, every now and then an interesting riff arrives, but these are useless when muddled with a myriad of utter mediocrity. The song writing is further taken adrift by a fascination with the incorporating of needless soloing wherever possible, as if we need to know that these musicians are “talented.”

As a further hindrance is the production, which is dry-throughout, giving an artificial feel, almost akin to plastic. To suggest that it is as accessible as pop-rock bands would not be too far off the mark. This really does make obvious that the majority of the work presented here is of a similar feel, despite efforts to “spice” things up with an out of place clean acoustic introduction, which adds to the volatility of the album through more incoherence. Also absence is any sense of melody, something that is extremely important to song writing. Sure, there is melody here, but it distracts from the overall flow of the songs, never tying sections together in harmonious flow.

The drummer and bassist also try to do their bit, but enhanced musicality never solved problems that are based around spirit and drive, or in this case a lack of. The drumbeats are impressive, at least to those who adore pretentious “technical” displays, mainly over-drummed, destroying any chance of feeling with impracticability. The situation is likewise in relation to the bassist, as he meanders off into his own little world.

Such measures equate to the emittance of a gregarious aura that one may find at jam session, in this case helping preach the acceptance of all-accepting egalitarian values in accordance with the “philosophical” lyrics. Part of the problem seems to be Death’s consistent flux of line-up changes; putting together a group of super-talented musicians rarely makes a “super-band.”

If you like music that is loosely based around the concept of writing a song, more for entertainment purposes instead of aiming to achieve artistic worth, then this may be a CD for you. As a whole, this is little more than a promiscuous acceptance of the Judeo-Christian modernity that holds society in a deadlock as we speak, containing music that merely occupies space, instead of filling it with meaning.
I've found Jesus
#6
What the shit is he on about?
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#7
My favourite part of that review of Death's ITP is easily this ending:

Quote by some pretentious dick from metal archives
As a whole, this is little more than a promiscuous acceptance of the Judeo-Christian modernity that holds society in a deadlock as we speak, containing music that merely occupies space, instead of filling it with meaning.
I've found Jesus
#8
I can picture him staying up all night going through a giant thesaurus writing that review.
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#10
yo Stranglehold, pm me your msn cos I don't think my msn is accepting requests
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#11
^ Done.
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#13
That ITP review... stopped reading when he said it was speed metal.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#14
Not a whole lot of technical language or nerdiness, but definitely overblown.

I HAVE NO ****... THIS ALBUM HAS RIPPED IT OUT - 99%
Written by UltraBoris on January 28th, 2005

WITH A SPORK

Every once in a while, I enter a 'down' phase of my life, where I contemplate killing myself, or perhaps wearing those asinine black-rimmed glasses and listening to Opeth... then I put this album, and I realise just why life is worth living.

Okay, not quite, but still... holy ****ING ****.

This right here is THE thrash album to end all thrash albums. Brutality, heaviness, songwriting skill, and of course more of a riffs onslaught than any FIVE other brutal thrash classics... you pick 'em, this'll lay them flat and stab them in the chest repeatedly. Kreator... Slayer... Sepultura... Torture Squad... all of those are amazing bands that have put out metal classics in their own right, but all of them are complete excrement compared to THIS blast of complete ****ing over-the-top insanity.

I don't give out 99 ratings like some sort of overvalued party favour - if it weren't for Priest in the East, this would be THE BEST metal album of all time. It's that ****ing monkey-smashing good. It is so completely be-all-end-all genre-defining and amazing, that I feel unworthy as a human being simply because I don't rape and kill (not necessarily in that order) 30 of my fellow humans and send the bodies to Gene Hoglan every morning, just as a thank-you gift for this album... this album commands that much ****ing respect.

This is the sound of armageddon right here... from the intro of pure concentrated distortion, to when the drums kick in, then the guitar riffage, oh my goodness this is riffage to end all riffage - it comes, riff after riff, and it is a complete mind****. You will not make linear sense of this. This transcends ordinary "Coma of Souls" thrash, where each riff is distinctly identified as music, and carries the weight of its past, from Sabbath to Priest... this is the album that takes all of those predecessors and treats them as something to build on... from the grimness of Venom and Bathory and even Hellhammer, rises THIS beast. This is not Kreator - such blaspheming tracks as Pestilence or Flag of Hate are rendered useless under the sheer Absolute Power of THE CITY IS GUILTY, THE CRIME IS LIFE, THE SENTENCE IS DEATH... DARKNESS DESCENDS.

Thrash, you worthless, ignorant sluts. When you look deep down inside, this is a thrash album... it's just so buried in ugliness and filth and decay that it may take three spins to figure it out. The riffs alternate fast and slow similar to any other - Slayer, for instance, or the aforementioned Kreator - it's just that slow is fast, and fast is "too fast my ass". Check out the TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE beats per minute of The Burning of Sodom, then compare with the relatively mild 190-200 of the middle section of Black Prophecies, which is the closest thing this comes to doom introspection... fifty ****ing riffs, each more triumphant than the last, morphing into each other in the middle of this song. Then of course the classic ****ing "never slow down, just switch it up" thrash breaks of Perish in Flames, Hunger of the Undead, et al... ****ing ****, yes this is of course a thrash album, but it basically takes any question - offered or otherwise - about thrash and quickly comes up with an answer.

People ask me ... how can we possibly live the heaviest life ever? Just look here, kids. This thing takes Hellhammer and Possessed out behind the woodshed, and teaches them a thing or two about evil. And that's saying something because Hellhammer and Possessed aren't exactly **** bands... see the malevolence of Burning in Hell or mankind's ****ing Massacra, and then take a good long look at Hunger of the Undead... check out ****ing Stained Class, then Show no Mercy, and then tell me that Death is Certain (Life is Not) is not the logical conclusion of all that...

The world stands ancient, showing her age... and when it ends, it will go like this, in a maelstrom of furious drumwork, enough riffs to lay waste to Bathory and Sodom (two GOOD bands, again, mind you) using only its left-hand little finger, and Don Doty's frenetic, apocalyptic vocal insanity.

There is none higher than this... this is such a blast of hyperkinetic fast thrash, heavier than Suffocation, more brutal than any of your dime-a-dozen late 90s grindcore bands... you think you're big-time? You're gonna ****ing DIE, big-time. Here comes the pain. Marduk, suck your Panzer Division Feces out your ass, because Merciless Death is heavier and faster and harder and more over-the-top than you, and doesn't even resort to self-parody to do it. ****en A, that's accomplishment right there.

Damn ****ing right, this is metal... this is directly traceable back to its influences, from Black Sabbath to Sodom to Judas Priest to Venom to that ****ing Overkill "Feel the Fire" demo from '84, this shows it, combines it in new bizarre forms, and comes out with a mutant beast of destruction that is the highlight of that Ultimate Year of Metal, 1986. Many have tried, and many have come close, and made lasting, classic impressions nonetheless... but there is Pleasure to Kill... and there is Reign in Blood. Then, on a completely different plane of existence, there is Darkness ****ing Descends. This must be taken to a new context, that of the Genre Definer... from Seven Churches to Sabotage to Black Sabbath itself - this album is that important, and that ****ing raging. Nothing since has come close. Not Panzer Division Norsecore. Not actually enjoyable albums like Death's Scream Bloody Gore, Torture Squad's Pandemonium, or Demilich's Nespithe - all excellent albums, but Darkness Descends predicted, preceded, and generally made those albums obsolete even before they began.

Riffs! Riffs! Who's got the most riffs? Black Prophecies, that's who - listen to that middle section, with the well-timed slow (okay, only 160 bpm) part, where each riff carefully morphs into the next one, while your upper spine region contemplates armed insurrection against the atrocities inflicted on it.

This album is so extreme in a lot of well-defined ways, from the extremely high-pitched (2000Hz) shriek of WE'LLGIVEYOUMERCILESS DEATH!!! to the hyper-lightning-blast of Burning of Sodom... then in so many non-quantitative ways, like the PERFECT ****ing thrash break on GODSOFWARHAVEGONEINSANE!!!! That's Perish in Flames for those keeping track at home.

This is not a pretty album. There is precisely one melodic passage, precisely one nod to Judas Priest and past restraints and normal human sanity - and that is the solo in Death is Certain, Life is Not. The rest is ugly, and makes Reign in Blood sound like leftist hippie rock. And Reign in Blood is a GOOD album. This is the album by which you go and kill your political enemies... when you drive down the highway listening to this, you must go at least 350 miles an hour. When you listen in the privacy of your own home, you will light things on fire and flagellate yourself with your refrigerator. It is that insanely extreme.

Holy excretal ****mass of the ritualistic inverted Jesus, as he is defiled repeatedly by a thousand boners of thrash. It gets no higher than this. I got this album several years ago, and since then I have not found a single reason to NOT pronounce this the best ****ing thrash album of all time.

the unholy trinity of 1986:
Pleasure to Kill
Reign in Blood

and this one, the crown jewel of them all

DARKNESS DESCENDS!!!


I don't feel like going through and beating the autocensors.
#15
Quote by Stranglehold
^ Done.


Now all you need to do is actually get ON msn
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#16
Scourge, if he's talking about Darkness Descends, it isn't overblown
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#17
Quote by Scourge441
Not a whole lot of technical language or nerdiness, but definitely overblown.


I don't feel like going through and beating the autocensors.


Written by UltraBoris no doubt.
Quote by mcw00t
"so you mean if the father is sterile, the kid will be sterile too?"

Proof God exists and evolution is a lie:
Quote by elguitarrista3
the prove is u because u did n create urself and ur parents dindt and their parents didnt and so on and we are not monkeys peace

#18
Ha not tonight man, gotta be up early for recording tomorrow so Im goin hitting the hay..

EDIT: @ MH
Quote by Ultraussie
I want to try that while playing the opening riff to "Tempting Time".

0-0-0-13-0-0-0-0-13 or something like that alalalala but It;s so heavy and off time and awesome and you could not f**k anyone to it.


Quote by Ingested
burzum IS nazi. well, varg is.
#19
Metal Archives isn't that bad. Okay, some of the reviews suck. But it still is a decent site.

And every review posted here (save the Darkness Descends one, that one was just kinda weird) was awful. ****ing atrocious.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#20
Quote by MHDrunk
that review was useless

Anyway, I thought this thread was gonna be about reviews that champion the album more than it should be; so I was preparing to run for cover


Same, I was just gonna suggest go look at the MA Wintersun reviews -save for the ones that actually offered criticism (though were probably too harsh anyway, nonetheless I agreed with those more than their counterparts)... personally I'd give it (WS) somewhere from 60 to 75 at max... my group is just a "now that I have your attention, I dont despise them, I just think they're overrated"-

Anywho, DD isnt that bad nor that great IMO... Black Prophecies is quite nice though
Funnily enough the vocalist sounds pretty teenager ish in that song, well at least until he starts rasping or ... altering his voice /lackofexplanation
#21
It depends how much into thrash you are, if you're not a thrashmetaller then you aren't going to think much of Dark Angel, but if you are... Darkness Descends is absolute gold.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#22
not a metal review, but this was in metal-observer so I thought I'd post it anyway

Nest - Woodsmoke

After several hours of wandering in the dark forest and passing the same landmarks over and over again you admit to yourself that you're lost. Not only lost, but starving and thirsty and with legs aching from the walking. Though feeling drained you somehow find the energy to climb to the top of the hill you see nearby. Once you reach the top and gather your breath you notice a campfire not too far away. The thought of another human being and food and shelter gives you an adrenaline rush and start to hurry down the hill. But as you get to the bottom you curse yourself for not taking the time to check the direction and distance. The feeling of hope suddenly fades away and you fall to the ground in desperation.

But what is that? Is that music the winds are carrying? As if the music was giving you new strength you quickly rise to your feet and start hurrying towards the source of the melody. Faster and faster until you see a light glowing from behind what looks to be a circle of tall birches. Before you know it you are inside the circle and see the soaring fire that seems to rise above to meet you. The music indeed comes from this place, even the roaring of the flames is drowned by the melodies. Looking past the fire you see a grey shape and in an instant the music stops, seemingly as soon as it had started and the grey shape turns out to be an old man. Somehow you get the feeling he is far older than he appears and his voice radiates ancient wisdom as he beckons you to sit on the log by the fire. Hesitantly you obey, and as you sit the old man turns his attention back to the instrument he was playing a minute ago. The sound of it is unmistakable; it is that of a kantele, the musical instrument of mythical proportions. As he starts playing, all other sounds seem to disappear, even the fire stops crackling and the birds stop singing as the waves of music flow from this wise man. Suddenly you are not sitting by the campfire anymore; the music carries you away, through time and place. Images of ancient civilisations flash past your eyes as you travel through time. Blurry images of a forest flies by, as if you were running in ancient woods...

Suddenly the images disappear and you open your eyes grasping for breath, as if you haven't breathed in hours. Turning your attention to the old man you are struck with fear, for the old man seems to have grown, his head at the same level as the crown of every tree. And not only has he grown, he radiates inner light, so brightly you have to turn your eyes away. "Do not be afraid" the words ring through your mind but you swear you did not hear them. Turning your head to the old man, it hits you, his eyes are fixed at you, and you cannot escape the feeling that his stare drills right through your soul. And as soon as you realise this, the music fills your ears and flows right into your soul, cleansing it from darkness.

The music stops, and you open your eyes. The old man is gone as is the campfire. The coldness of the log makes you quickly stand up and looking down you notice it is not a log at all, but a stone covered in moss. And then it dawns on you, everything is bathing in sunlight! Looking up and shading your eyes you see that the sun has already reached its zenith point. But how is that possible, for the last thing you remember is that of you sitting at the bottom of the hill, cursing yourself in frustration. How was that possible you do not know, as you now know exactly what direction to take to find your way out of the forest. Somehow you also feel much happier now, as if a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders and all the bad memories washed away. So, you head off into the right direction, whistling and with a smile on your face...

And somewhere, deep in the darkness of the forest, the music plays on...
I’m not the man I used to be, I... I can’t go back to Arkham.

I... I should return to Arkham.


Among the churchyard’s mouldering stones I recognise a name – my own.
I have come home to Arkham.

#23
^that's not a review dude, that's a failed short story.


seriously, since when did band reviews not have to have anything at all to do with the band or it's music?
Quote by B4Dkarma
When you look at a guy and immediately go, "wow, what a douchebag"

that is what girls find attractive.
#25
Quote by MHDrunk
Scourge, if he's talking about Darkness Descends, it isn't overblown


My thoughts, too. I'm listening through it now, just downloaded it, and it is brilliant. He wrote it like a bit of a ponce, but by God he's right, it is one of the Unholy Trinity of 1986. Great album.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#26
Quote by MHDrunk
It depends how much into thrash you are, if you're not a thrashmetaller then you aren't going to think much of Dark Angel, but if you are... Darkness Descends is absolute gold.


Hey, I'm a major thrash fan, but I cannot fucking stand Darkness Descends. In fact, I'd say it was the worst metal album I've ever heard. It just goes "bash bash bash bash" from start to finish, never doing anything interesting; the production is such that you can't actually make out what the guitars are playing at all; the drum beat never changes; the vocals sound absolutely ridiculous.

Just my opinion, of course, but I cannot understand why this album is so revered by thrash fans. I hate it. There's a review on MA titled "Thrash Goes Senile" which offers a much better view of that album, in my eyes.
#27
Quote by whirleygig
Hey, I'm a major thrash fan, but I cannot fucking stand Darkness Descends. In fact, I'd say it was the worst metal album I've ever heard. It just goes "bash bash bash bash" from start to finish, never doing anything interesting; the production is such that you can't actually make out what the guitars are playing at all; the drum beat never changes; the vocals sound absolutely ridiculous.

Just my opinion, of course, but I cannot understand why this album is so revered by thrash fans. I hate it. There's a review on MA titled "Thrash Goes Senile" which offers a much better view of that album, in my eyes.

While i agree that it has almost no variety, it is still a great album. The songs are great, brutal as hell and just great all around.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#28
Quote by whirleygig
Hey, I'm a major thrash fan, but I cannot fucking stand Darkness Descends. In fact, I'd say it was the worst metal album I've ever heard. It just goes "bash bash bash bash" from start to finish, never doing anything interesting; the production is such that you can't actually make out what the guitars are playing at all; the drum beat never changes; the vocals sound absolutely ridiculous.

Just my opinion, of course, but I cannot understand why this album is so revered by thrash fans. I hate it. There's a review on MA titled "Thrash Goes Senile" which offers a much better view of that album, in my eyes.


You don't like thrash
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#29
after all some of the praised stuff of it is pretty much open 6th string fast picking and some powerchords lol :P

though after listening to it the other day my opinion on the album did go up, however I agree on the damn production and it being somewhat hard t hear what the guitars so in some places
#30
Quote by MHDrunk
You don't like thrash


I beg to differ. I've just been wrecking my neck to Beneath the Remains and am currently listening to some Vio-Lence, all of which seems to point towards me liking thrash.

I just don't like shitty thrash.
#32
Quote by whirleygig
I beg to differ. I've just been wrecking my neck to Beneath the Remains and am currently listening to some Vio-Lence, all of which seems to point towards me liking thrash.

I just don't like shitty thrash.


oh, so you're more into the weaker thrash.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#33
Some reviews on metal-archives are crap. I can't stand it when I see an album given a bad review by someone who has never even liked the band.
Quote by mexicanmidget88
metalcore is metal, just with more brutality



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#35
Quote by MHDrunk
oh, so you're more into the weaker thrash.


I know I should leave it now, but I just can't let this slide

I just hate how Darkness Descends is praised by so many as the ultimate thrash album to end all thrash albums, when, to my ears at least, it's just utter shite. It's not 'too extreme for me' or anything like that, it just isn't good.

And if you really think Sepultura is 'weaker thrash', then I think you're the one who doesn't like thrash.
#36
fair point on Sepultura. Darkness Descends gets so much praise because its straight up brutality from start to finish with minimal variation. im gonna guess that at the time where thrash was huge (being that i wasnt around then) an album like DD, Pleasure to Kill and Reign in Blood get so much credit because it was pure, unadultred, intense thrash that was a relentless live show and very much alcohol fueled aggression.

'tis what i think.
#37
Quote by MHDrunk
You don't like thrash



It isn't my favorite thrash album (Spectrum of Death - Morbid Saint), but it's a damn good album.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
#38
Quote by tehbensonzorz
fair point on Sepultura. Darkness Descends gets so much praise because its straight up brutality from start to finish with minimal variation. im gonna guess that at the time where thrash was huge (being that i wasnt around then) an album like DD, Pleasure to Kill and Reign in Blood get so much credit because it was pure, unadultred, intense thrash that was a relentless live show and very much alcohol fueled aggression.

'tis what i think.

Reign in Blood actually has variation, though. Darkness Descends doesn't go anywhere at all. I haven't heard Pleasure to Kill, so I don't know how it compares.
#39
Reign in Blood...variation? not really. explain?

all i can think of would be the intro of Criminally Insane, Angel of Death's breakdown, and the first half of Postmortem. maybe. as far as Darkness Descends goes, the intro of the title track is different, Merciless Death's intro, Death is Certain's solo (hardly though, but it stands out) and most of Black Prophecies. and while i'm here, Pleasure to Kill has Riot of Violence. thats it as far as that goes tho haha
#40
Quote by tehbensonzorz
Reign in Blood...variation? not really. explain?

all i can think of would be the intro of Criminally Insane, Angel of Death's breakdown, and the first half of Postmortem.

Those, plus the ending of Necrophobic, the beginning of Jesus Saves, and the intro to Raining Blood. Plus, the songs are different enough to be able to tell the difference.

On Darkness Descends, the only part that stood out to me was the intro to Merciless Death.
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