#1
Hey, I'm 17 and I just started up a band with some buddies from school. I wrote these lyrics as sort of a vague criticism of the boredom and apathy-breeding environment of our current educational system. I was kind of going for a sort of off-the-wall, Every Time I Die-ish style, so that's why the structure of the lyrics is kinda weird. Hope you guys enjoy, anything you have to say will be much appreciated, good or bad!

So drink to unmet expectations.
Dissapointed by youthful neglect, there's really nothing you can do.
Define the purpose, sir. Why run harder when the race takes place in a cage?
The system is in need of overhaul.

I can't complain because they won't respond to my letters.
So why do we try in the face of apathy?
Mistook the tail lights of a luxury car for the fires of inspiration,
This **** will not fly.

Signs of hope curiously found in the places you'd least expect them.
But the useless agenda won't give up an inch.
Routine is routinely destructive.

The things held closest are strategically placed there,
so don't hold me responsible for the indiscernible line you can't seem to cross back over.
Now it's time to take the three o' clock to stagnancy.
Last edited by Akira13 at Dec 8, 2008,
#2
Quote by Akira13
Hey, I'm 17 and I just started up a metalcore band with some buddies from school. I wrote these lyrics as sort of a vague criticism of the boredom and apathy-breeding environment of our current educational system. I was kind of going for a sort of off-the-wall, Every Time I Die-ish style, so that's why the structure of the lyrics is kinda weird. Hope you guys enjoy, anything you have to say will be much appreciated, good or bad!


Three O' Clock To Stagnancy


So drink to unmet expectations.
Dissapointed by youthful neglect, there ain't nothing you can do.
Define the purpose, sir. Why run harder when the race takes place in a cage?
i reaally dig this line
The system is in need of overhaul.
a bit cliche

Can't complain cause they won't respond to my letters.
So why do I try in the face of apathy?
Mistook the tail lights of a luxury car for the fires of inspiration,
This **** will not fly.
beauty

Signs of hope curiously found in the places you'd least expect them.
But the useless agenda.
Oh yeah, the useless agenda.
Routine is routinely destructive.
unless this is some form of chorus theres not much need for the repetition

The things you hold closest are usually strategically placed there,
so don't hold me responsible for the indiscernible line you can't seem to cross back over.
these two lines feel a bit force. i like what youre going for, but they could use some revision
Now it's time to take the three o' clock to stagnancy.
Now it's time to take the three o' clock to stagnancy.
man, i dont think stagnancy is a word, but poetic license, yeh? joking aside its a very cool image. well done


there are honestly THOUSANDS of bored teens writing about being bored, and doing so without any originality or art. this is not one of those songs. i really do enjoy this. keep the writing up man, hopefully we'll see more of you on S&L

crit for crit?

Speakeasy:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=875357

Will to Live:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=874415
#3
actually stagnancy is a word, i even looked it up, haha! it's just the noun form of stagnant. but thanks for all your input man, i really appreciate it, you went quite in depth. I'll check out your songs right now.
#6
lol dude..i threw in the 'joking aside' because i wasnt serious. or of course its a word, just not one you see in songs too often (which is a good thing)
thanks for the crit on speakesasy man, we did a demo of it yesterday, it should be up on our myspace by tonite (maybe? fingers crossed :P)