#1
I'm sorry about posting this again but i accidentally broke a few rules by writing (c4c) and I was told to repost this.


Verse 1.
Your beauty is beyond compare,
with flowing locks of brunette hair,
your deep blue eyes are the sea,
constantly crashing into me.

Chorus.
One look and i'm gone,
defeated broken and undone,
your beauty is a bullet,
dangerous when you use it.

verse 2.
you are addictive a drug,
you're my brown sugar and love,
you're the one who sets me free,
you dont know how much of you i need.

Chorus

Verse 3.
Now with these word i've said,
I can put my feelings to bed,
I want you terribly,
So come on and set me free.
Last edited by sdnsausagerolls at Jun 3, 2008,
#2
its pretty good for a love song
The only thing i would change is in the chorus.
Instead of saying dangerous when used in your way;dangerous when you use it, it rhymes better
#3
Quote by oLiVeWaShErE
its pretty good for a love song
The only thing i would change is in the chorus.
Instead of saying dangerous when used in your way;dangerous when you use it, it rhymes better

Cheers that is a good idea i shall edit it now.
#4
nice many love songs people post on here are the same old boring thing...dull to read...but yours stands out to me....i dont really know why but i'll get back to ya if i figure it out
#5
Quote by james9119
nice many love songs people post on here are the same old boring thing...dull to read...but yours stands out to me....i dont really know why but i'll get back to ya if i figure it out

Dude thanks man I appreciate your comments. I've just done my english GCSE so all those hours of revision must have paid off!