#1
Well, it is that time of year again. It's a good thing the egomaniac reminded me!

Happy birthday Kris!


I got you a few things that will be useful in your journey further into life.

Well Mr. Bluesman; we all know you think you're the best guitarist around. \truth is you're pretty good. But there's no way you can master this!



That aside, I know you'll need lots of this to get your groove going




Dude, everyone knows smoking makes you impotent. I know it doesn't matter either way for you but dude, I'll help.



I invited a bunch of *****s to your house. Hope your parents don't mind. Or at least, your dad will be used to it.

Oh and I gots you a hawt chicK!!111 because I'm nice. She's there to tell you how good you are at guitar and also for other purposes as you wish.

ಥ_ಥ
#2
And she even brought you apple juice! How nice! How nice is that?



There ya go pal. Have a gooder. Get very drunk and have a good time.



G'wan! Give the man some ****!
ಥ_ಥ
#3


Oh man, you are the best.

bro.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
#6
Happy Birthday... NOT!!

LOL!OPL!OL AHAH!H! OWNED! ! yeah....


Quote by lceman13
You have nice hair!


#8
Eh fuck you guys. My birthday was Sunday. I can now fuck who I want and no one helped me celebrate =(


Happy Birthday to DB22 btw. =)
[ takes ][ makes ][ he's ] your fuck[ be strong ][ hate ] maroon 5. It's [[ fucking ]] pantera.
#9
happy birthday!
MUSIC can lift us out of depression or move us to tears- it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear.
~Oliver Sacks


"You get smaller while the world gets big
The more you know you know you don't know shit"
#10
Happy birthday :p

No one wished me a happy birthday this April. Not even that slut down the road.
#11
To poor to bake a cake, so I got you this.



Happy b-day.
■■■
'member The Pit of 10'? oH, I 'member!


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#12
Hey happy birthday!

Sorry, I'm too poor, but I got you this creepy picture!


I hope someone remembers my birthday on the 10th.
#13
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRIS!!!!! I decided to get you a few things, as well.

Now I know you're pretty rich, but it's your birthday and I don't want you spending 1 red cent on birthday neccesities like alcohol. I also know you can drink a lot (maybe not as much as Codey and I, but we're seasoned veterans) so I decided to get you the good stuff: A whole case of malt liquor!



Also, I realize your still pretty young. As a young guy, we don't want anything ruining your bright future as a Blue Man. Or is it blues man? I can't remember if you wanted to beat pipes to make songs or play the blues for a living. Oh well, no matter. The fact is children ruin everything, so here's a little something to make sure your sex-capades don't end up in children. Lord knows we don't need any more you's running around the world.



Now, for my final gift. This is the creme de la creme my friend, the best of the best. You can decide which one you eat first.



Anyways, happy birthday my man! Hope it's filled with alcohol, women and other forms of debauchery.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "if I live I will kill you."
"If I die, you are forgiven."
Such is the rule of honour.