#1
The Power of UG


There is a legend. A legend that says the one who embraces the power of UG shall rule the world, but at a cost. Most dismiss the legend as a fake to get children to sleep, but it is true, because it happened to me. Read what is in front of you at your own risk.

The day had been pretty dull. Students were severely tired and many were sleeping while the teacher gave the lesson. Just a normal Monday, nothing out of the ordinary. I myself was awake because i usually get very good sleep. The class was very dull and i thought it would never end, kind of like a chick flick minus nipples. Anyway, the first block eventually ended and another was about to begin.

By this time most students were actually attentive and cared about what was going down. This block went by super fast and that is always a good thing. But oh sh-, i forgot, today was "Sit by someone new at lunch" day. Hell. No. I immediately reminded the class and i saw the greatest thing known to man: A classwide facepalm. All the students responded angrily, even a select few resorting to internet acronyms and one student made a quick mention of an unmentionable pear. That student was then quickly pounded in the shoulder by our teacher Mr. French Fungus and kicked out of the class, because the teacher has the power to what he pleases. But he was right, it truly was a "LOL WUT?" time. The lunch from Satan's domain was about to begin.

Students slowly walked from their 2nd block class to the lunch room. The terror was so strong that many decided to just stay in the commons the whole time and not even eat. But most realized that the lure of food was too much to withstand and so they strolled right into the bear trap.

As students entered the cafeteria they were given a ticket. The tickets had certain numbers on them and you were required to sit at the table where you were assigned, as faculty would come around and check your ticket. Those in violation would be written up. So i did my part, got my lunch, and sat by people i have never even seen before, much less talk to. The students were your usual high school stereotypes; nerdy asian kid, prissy blond girl, token black guy, etc. I sat down and did my best not to talk to them but to only eat my lunch.

Some girl at the table touched my shoulder. I liked it.

One of the kids actually was pretty cool, and we started talking when i found it he also played guitar. We started talking about our inspirations to play guitar and i said mine was Mark Tremonti. He said that his was Tom DeLonge. My jaw dropped and i sharted myself. The look on my face said it all. I turned bright red with rage. My elitist attitude was breaking through. I was getting mad at myself. I know i didn't really like Tom, but i thought i could contain my elitism and only use it in the UG Pit, but i was wrong. I instantly stood up and pushed the table over on its side in a violent rage. I then proceeded to air guitar and soon faculty members came running. But they couldn't stop me.

Using all the internet memes i had learned in the Pit, I was able to materialize in my hands an actual guitar. I strummed an A minor chord and a gust of wind shot through the windows and then circled around me like a tornado. I had become the Guitar Hero. Using my new found power, i played a minor pentatonic scale and a fire erupted on the ground circling me. This. Is. So. Badass. Oh dear lord. I then wanted to test my power to its limits and i turned up the gain and started sweep picking. A lightning bolt shot out of the headstock of the guitar and passed through every person in the room like a wildfire.

I shouted in happiness until i saw on the ground, my best friend. I looked in his eyes and saw nothing but pain. I laid my axe down and got closer. I started to cry. "Damn you UG, you killed my best friend. How dare you! You ruined my life." I sobbed for a few more seconds until a ghostly image appeared next to me. It was Jimmy Page. He looked at me and said, "Play it. It is the only way. You must meet him to learn about what you must do."


I then did as told. I played Stairway to Heaven and soon enough i was shot up into the sky. Before me was Jesus and he talked to me. "Come, walk with me young child. I have much to say to you."

To be continued...soon.
Last edited by curtis15 at Jun 4, 2008,
#3
tl;dr

sorry man.

EDIT: reading now.

MORE EDIT: needs more rape.
Last edited by MoleMania at Jun 4, 2008,
#4
Quote by MoleMania
tl;dr

sorry man.


Yeah i know, its ok, but i am just bored waiting for one of my video files to be converted to a new format.
#5
You shoulda put

WALL OF TEXT ALERT

Just for the people who are like "Oh forget this, that's like the size of the berlin wall". But that's not my opinion, I thought it was pretty cool.
#6
dude, that wall of text requires a Luigi (from super mario 2) super jump, with the flailing legs and intense stupidity,

just to get past,

shorter response:
tl;dr
#8
Epic post is epic.
Quote by FrenchyFungus
Hey y'all!!! Me and my friend were over at her house. I we were wonder what guys think when they see a hot girl at the mall or whatever walk by. (We're both pretty as y'all would say "blonde" sometimes).


Quote by rabidguitarist
I just look like some homo.
#11
Quote by curtis15
The Power of UG
I turned bright red with rage. My elitist attitude was breaking through. I was getting mad at myself. I know i didn't really like Tom, but i thought i could contain my elitism and only use it in the UG Pit, but i was wrong. I instantly stood up and pushed the table over on its side in a violent rage. I then proceeded to air guitar and soon faculty members came running. But they couldn't stop me.

#12
Quote by curtis15
The class was very dull and i thought it would never end, kind of like a chick flick minus nipples.




Everything else was whatever.
Who dat?
#14
epic wall of text is epic
Call me Wes.
Gear:
Fender American Deluxe HSS Strat
Chicago Blues Box Roadhouse
Bad Cat Cougar 5
1957 Gibson GA-5
Ceriatone 18w TMB Combo
Hughes & Kettner Tube Factor
Various Ibanez TS9s
Weber MASS Attenuator
#15
.......


........oh....


.....god.......


...must....
...not...


...post.......


....PEAR........


AHGAHGHGAHGHAGHGHAGHGHGGGHH!!oneone11!!!oneon11!!


*head explodes*
#17
Quote by darkarbiter7
epic wall of text is epic


Overused 4chan memes are overused.

Not to mention ridiculously annoying.
#18
okay uhh air guitar and nipplles should never be in the same story
THE KREATOR OF THE ALL METAL AND KERRY KING GROUP PM ME TO JOIN
Proud BLACK 13 Owner
RIP Charles Michael "Chuck" Schuldiner THE FATHER OF DEATH METAL
GOD HATES US ALL-SLAYER
#19
I don't know who failed harder here. The TS, or the people who thought it was 'epic.'
#20
i liked it
█ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ Last.fm █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █


"Never interrupt an enemy when he is making a mistake."
~Napoleon Bonaparte
#28
Quote by the_strikes
You shoulda put

WALL OF TEXT ALERT

Just for the people who are like "Oh forget this, that's like the size of the berlin wall". But that's not my opinion, I thought it was pretty cool.



https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=876305

It's true!
Quote by buckethead_jr
^And known for that bloody awesome croissant with a crown.
Man that's badass.


MINE SIG R PINK
#29
The power of UG isn't as strong in you as a real guitar hero, so you were only able to summon a Squier Strat and a Line 6 Spider III.