#1
(inspired by The Lyric Game III)
reformatted, slight edit.
for those who didn't understand: the voice in the first line is an announcer in a commercial.


Flowr Powr


Say you love her with flowers, said the voice in the box.
he listened intently as he put on his socks.
Whata flowr? heard dad while he tied the boy's shoes.
That's what daddy gave mummie, when he drank too much booze.

So the boy went outside and tipped on his toes-es,
and tore from the bushes, two beautiful roses.
Yoo got flour, heard mom, still not quite awake.
No dear. If I had, I'd bake cookies or cake.
Oh pleese mummie pleese, bake cookies wiff deese!

Why yoo laff at me mummie? I even say pleese.



Take that, Theo LeSieg!
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Jul 3, 2008,
#5
omg this should be the official gayest thread ever!
Quote by aig91
"It doesn't get much beter than that! Ok, maybe a free ibanez guitar and marshall half-stack in perfect condition would be better, but free pancakes comes right behind that"

Quote by neptune1988
"My tone should be like me........FAT! "
#6
haha, I like it.
omg you could be the official gayest user ever albinokrikit!
i kid, i kid.
but really, take your ignorance and leave.
oh, oh, SYK! Own him with a well constructed rant that demoralises him and humiliates him.
pleaseee


That said, I don't quite get the different colours...?
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#7
^
lol, Nate.
as far as humiliation goes, i think he's done enough to himself already.
I'll just suggest that he check his e-mail.


on topic:
red indicates adult voices, blue is the child's.
I'd considered using different colours for each of the three adult voices,
but thought that might be too much.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#9
Ah, I see. Lol, I was trying to figure out some hidden message tying them all together.
You have a very distinct writing style, I've gotta say.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#11
Lol that's pretty fun!

There must be some kind of meaning behind this, and the different colours, but I can't quite catch it. Good job though it made me laugh and brightened my day up a bit.
ಥ_ಥ
#13
Funny, kinda corny (and by kinda I mean about 98% corn), but its a fun break from the normal seriousness of the things posted here.
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
#15
Whata flowr? heard dad while he tied the boy's shoes.
Thats what daddy gave mummie, when he drank too much booze.


I like the second line better without thats at the beginning.

This was one of your best works if you ask me.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#16
interesting...I'm not much of a poet but I like it...

I agree that "or a" throws off the timing of that line, other than that it seems fine...the coloring was an interesting choice to. once I read what it was it made a lot more sense but where is the 3rd adult voice? I see the mother and the father but whats the 3rd?

check my thread out again, I tried to put up an explanation for those 2 lines that might clear up what I was aiming for...or at least I hope lol... The background story that inspired the lyrics might shed light on what I meant

thanks bro
Originally Posted by NAME GOES HERE
Dude, with a name like Cannibal Corpse, what were you expecting? Ponies and rainbows?

#17
thanks for the comments, all.
i think i got back to everyone. But if i forgot somebody, let me know.

i (begrudgingly) dropped the colours and went with quotation marks instead. we'll see how this flies, but it think the writing itself is settled. i dropped a from the eighth line to smooth the rhythm.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.