#1
critique, or comment or whatever...just finished it let me know what ya think


INTRO

VERSE 1
This feelin’ I’m getting
It just ain’t sittin’
It keeps comin’ back
Won’t leave me alone

Just can’t wait
Till I’m another place
Ill get away from this
And ill be on my own

CHORUS
When I’m gone
Ill be in that better place
Ill be through

When I’m gone
Ill be away from it
Away from it real soon

VERSE 2
It’s not like its just one thing
Its this whole (hold)
State of mind
But when I’m gone
Ill leave it all behind
(behind)

BRIDGE
You know I’ve had some good times
But lately they’re just fadin’
Fading away

But the feeling ill have soon is too good
Too good to say

SOLO!

CHORUS
When I’m gone
Ill be in that better place
Ill be through

When I’m gone
Ill be away from it
Far away from it
Real soon

VERSE 3
The selfishness of these people
Is just one thing
I can’t stand
I don’t mean to complain
But we both know they’ll never
Never understand

Those dirty hypocrites
Who never
Even try
To lend a hand

Like I said I don’t they’ll ever understand

OUTRO
#2
Call it "Fading"
Here's some criticism:
Where was the rhyming. Also, what was the main idea of the song?
#3
i live on the tiny island of okinawa (ever heard of it?) and thanx but with the music it makes since, and its not rhyming for every line but it sounds good if someone sings it the right way...so yeah im goin to the states for summer to see all my friends and family soon, but for the next couple weeks im stuck on this island...the feeling is loneliness and angstyness...and i got a buncha crappy jack-ass teachers...its kinda all over the place