#1
read between the lines if you can
and if you can't
too often Unspoken and Unheard
are like Up and Up

the difference was lost,
when? God only knows
and you ain't him, but these days
he's just an acronym

holding your emotions in
a bowl woven of fog
beautiful yet thin, fragile
and purely illusion

you smile because they tell you to
but all you're really doing is
squinting against the sun

when the sun sets and
relieves the eyes
its no surprise that it rises again
the next day, in the same way

you hope maybe this time
when it reaches its peak
so will you
and that fog might become steel

but this is real
and sooner or later
you'll have to face the fact
that in all your "happy" family photos

you smile because they tell you to
but all you're really doing is
squinting against the sun


c4c
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
Last edited by Billyjson at Jun 4, 2008,
#2
This is really good, you've got some great lines in here:
the difference was lost,
when? God only knows
and you ain't him, but these days
he's just an acronym

That has got to be just about the best lyric I've seen this year. You use a lot of description in this, but I think it really suits it, it certainly adds some feel to the words. Great stuff!
#3
some of the line breaks came at odd times, disrupting the flow.
and the message escapes me.
beautifle was unintentional, meant to be beautiful?
or did you have a purpose with that?
the bowl woven of fog, later becoming steel went right past me.
i can't read between the lines; the dots are to distant for me to connect.
Meadows
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#4
Thanks for the spelling correction, that wasn't intentional, me and that word have just always had a problem with one another. As for the message, its about a person who is dealing with depression but who's trying to act normal for the sake of the people around them. The fog signifies their attempt at masking it, but - as the next few lines express - it's clearly not enough. The steel signifies an escape from that depression back to a more normal, solid state of life.

I usually leave the interpretation up to the reader since it takes away from the song otherwise, so hopefully that explanation was inadequate enough to keep the mystery alive
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
Last edited by Billyjson at Jun 5, 2008,
#5
it is really good.
i do say this tho.
at times your word choosing interupts the flow as SYK said.
i would say revising it and find the same word but with a different syllable.
( i get teh 2 confused LOL)
it is touching too.
great job