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#1
Are you a 30 year old office clerk who's boring life consists of paper work and getting excessively drunk in clubs that you're far too old for? You are not cool.

Every weekend I go up town now, all I ever see is drunk middle aged women falling about the streets. They're like pariahs. They go out in groups and bitch about how **** their ****ty lives and their ****ty jobs are, and how much it sucks to be ugly and single, whilst getting ridiculously drunk and standing out like a sore thumb in clubs designed for students and rich kids.

I think I possibly grew this hatred for middle aged alcoholic women a few months ago, after getting on a night bus and having about 6 of them join me. I was drunk, they were drunk, they were annoying. I know I enjoy myself when I go out, and sometimes I can get a bit too merry, but not like this. There is nothing amusing about some sad pathetic drunk middle aged woman falling over on a bus as she moves one step closer to her inevitable mid-life crisis. Man up bitches. Stop crying over how ****ty your life is. If you hate your job, QUIT. If you think you're ugly, go to the ****ing gym fatty. Don't waste your life away by getting retardedly drunk every saturday and crying about it more.

See the thing is, when I'm 30, I know where I want to be. I want to be living in my own house, with a good job that I enjoy, and very possibly with a family on the way. I'll probably still drink alcohol. And I'll probably from time to time get drunk. But most likely, I'll do it at home, or in a pub. Not in a fancy night club that we only got into because Martha sucked off the bouncer last week. Being a 30+ year old slag with no relationship and no life path isn't cool. In fact it's downright disgusting. People think you're annoying. Men DON'T find it attractive. And just because you get ****faced with some other equally disgusting slags doesn't mean that you live an interesting life


Is this you?

You are not cool.
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#2
WALL OF TEXT!!! But yeah seeing as how I don't get out much I don't get to see middle-aged drunk women
#4
30 isn't middle aged dude. Its really not that old.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#6
Quote by Craigo
Okay.

Or, just stick to pubs where these women don't exist, like me?


I do. It's the streets and public transport systems that I have to deal with them on.
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Derigiberble would win in a fight against any UGer, n00b or not, just because most people on the site can't help but love him/her.


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#7
Quote by Derigiberble

Why're you hating on unconcious sex?

Are you gay?

/pit monkey

I know what you mean man. It's disgusting.
#9
Preach the good word!
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#11
Quote by Derigiberble
I do. It's the streets and public transport systems that I have to deal with them on.

Fair do.

Reminds me of a drunken encounter awhile ago...

'YOU WOULD LOOK LUSH WITH STRAIGHT HAIR YOU KNOW...'
'How old are you?'
'Uhh... 17'
'Aww, he's too young for us'
'Doesn't look it *bites lip*'
*walks away*
#12
to be fair 30 isn't middle aged lol :\
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#13
It could be worse...60 year old drunk women anyone?
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#16
Quote by esther_mouse
to be fair 30 isn't middle aged lol :\


Maybe not, but being 30 in a club for teenagers and students isn't cool.

It's a cultural issue. They think that disco dancing still exists. They need to die.
Quote by CornLord
Derigiberble would win in a fight against any UGer, n00b or not, just because most people on the site can't help but love him/her.


Get, Get, Get, Get, Get Out And Push.
#18
Quote by Derigiberble

Being a 30+ year old slag with no relationship and no life path isn't cool. In fact it's downright disgusting. People think you're annoying. Men DON'T find it attractive. And just because you get ****faced with some other equally disgusting slags doesn't mean that you live an interesting life



Oh shut up. It's not disgusting to be 30 years old and have no relationship or "life path." That's just silly.
#19
Actually, anyone completely sh1tfaced drunk isnt cool. Maybe a little drunk, but not fall-in-the-gutter drunk. Thats f**king stupid.
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#20
Agreed. In fact, our rhythm guitarist's mom is just like that. She forces him to stay home and babysit his stepbrothers on a friday night while she goes out and gets ****faced with her equally stupid and ugly friends. She gets drunk and yells at us during practices and shows and thinks we're going to make it big and buy her a house.

Shouldn't the 18 year old guitarist be the one out having fun while the lazy bitch takes care of her own little mistakes?
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#21
you're only just legal to go into clubs, they probably think of you as an annoying child

live and let live, they have as much right to go out and have fun as anyone else.
MEMBER OF THE LAUGAM BRITISH HIT SQUAD! HONORARY MEMBER OF THE SWEDISH LAUGAM HIT SQUAD!
I'M JUST SEE THROUGH FADED, SUPER JADED, AND OUT OF MY MIND
<//////>~ dA
Esther is officially awesome and smart - Frenchy
#22
Quote by freedoms_stain
"having" is a bit presumptious

No...I KNOW ALL

#23
Quote by chunkychewie
Oh shut up. It's not disgusting to be 30 years old and have no relationship or "life path." That's just silly.


No, but it's disgusting to spend every day moaning about it and getting ****faced to try and find some sort of drunken enlightenment, rather than just going out and dealing with the situation.
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Derigiberble would win in a fight against any UGer, n00b or not, just because most people on the site can't help but love him/her.


Get, Get, Get, Get, Get Out And Push.
#25
I know what you mean. I had the classic "Oh he's gorgeous, but too young" comment the other week. I'd still **** one just for the joke (as long as she isn't too old/fat/horrible).
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#26
Quote by chunkychewie
Oh shut up. It's not disgusting to be 30 years old and have no relationship or "life path." That's just silly.


Keep tellin yourself that one bud.
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


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#27
Quote by Derigiberble
No, but it's disgusting to spend every day moaning about it and getting ****faced to try and find some sort of drunken enlightenment, rather than just going out and dealing with the situation.


I'll agree with you there to an extent...I just don't like absolute declarations. People should always try to deal with situations head on. But drunken enlightenment can be beneficial, provided you're dealing with the important stuff as well.
#28
that was an amazing write up

you should do public service announcements
the whole don't drink and drive thing is getting old
lets get some ugly drunk chicks on tv
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#29
Quote by Novacane...
You're from Scotland and you only developed this hatred a few months ago?
Edinburgh isn't in Scotland.

It's a bit of England that got lost.
#30
Quote by chunkychewie
I'll agree with you there to an extent...I just don't like absolute declarations. People should always try to deal with situations head on. But drunken enlightenment can be beneficial, provided you're dealing with the important stuff as well.


It can be, so long as some form of enlightenment occurs. I don't know about you, but I've never been enlightened by crying in a gutter out of my face.
Quote by CornLord
Derigiberble would win in a fight against any UGer, n00b or not, just because most people on the site can't help but love him/her.


Get, Get, Get, Get, Get Out And Push.
#33
Quote by Jericho114
Keep tellin yourself that one bud.


****....you'd think in a website of guitarists the consensus would not be that we should all get hitched and start a family and conform to society. No...actually it's "disgusting" to not have a family when you're thirty. Heh.
#34
Quote by Derigiberble
It can be, so long as some form of enlightenment occurs. I don't know about you, but I've never been enlightened by crying in a gutter out of my face.


Heh. You don't know about me then.

#35
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Don't bloody dump Edinburgh on us. YOU lot left Carlisle behind.
Fine.

Wales can have it.
#36
Quote by Arch Enemy 65
I think my friends mom is an alcholic and she's 50 and my math teacher.


same here, but its my fiancee's mom........ and she's not a teacher....... and she beat my fiancee once....... we dont talk anymore....
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#37
Quote by chunkychewie
****....you'd think in a website of guitarists the consensus would not be that we should all get hitched and start a family and conform to society. No...actually it's "disgusting" to not have a family when you're thirty. Heh.


Haha I never said you had to be married and such by 30. Though I do think you should have some sort of "life plan" or idea of what you wanna do by then. Going out getting smashed and hitting on 20 year olds (I know from experience) is not something you should be doing, not only are you embarrassing yourself, but if you have kids at home you're inadvertantly embarrassing them aswell.
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


Vote here to help me get to BC!
#38
Quote by Jericho114
Haha I never said you had to be married and such by 30. Though I do think you should have some sort of "life plan" or idea of what you wanna do by then. Going out getting smashed and hitting on 20 year olds (I know from experience) is not something you should be doing, not only are you embarrassing yourself, but if you have kids at home you're inadvertantly embarrassing them aswell.


Yeah, having children definitely changes things.
#39
ooooh mark one up for the self righteous nob end, you really told them mate, well played.
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#40
yeh, in aus we see this quite a lot too, it does look f u c k e n dirty.


but also, we have problems more with teenage girls.

there is a really big tourist hot spot on australia's gold coast, called SURFERS PARADISE, now this place is one big party every night, but the problem is, there seems to be a trend of girls aged 13-15 who think it makes them "cool" to go get **** faced and try crack onto blokes in their early 20's.

anyways thats my contribution to the thread lol
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