#1
Hey guys I'm back, just finished up a new song so I thought I'd post it.

Testament To Burning Bridges

Gentlemen, we're right on schedule.
Throw open the blast doors, I'll let the hell hounds loose.
Never once did we shift our focus to the calibration of human emotion,
Maybe in just times we could have prevented this.

Bleed out your soul on a waiting room floor,
And quench your thirst with the sweet juices of chaos.
We're surrounded by the memories of everything that never happened to us,
So throw back your head and free what you've hidden.

The undulating cadence of clockwork deceit has hit you one last time,
Connecting like the giddy whispers of teen lovers buried in the sheets of their trade.
Oh god, what we could do if passion was a one way street.
We're barely animals on a good day.

So will you join the fortunate few who can navigate the road map of that crucial line,
Between who we are, who we were, and who we think we need to be?
I hope you know we're only in this for that thin shell of glory, boys.
We've got no room here: you'll have to call us back.
#3
You've got a good set of lyrics here that tell a good story. It seems like its from the view point of someone quite detactched and that adds really nicely to the eerie style of the lyrics.

Though you may have written this with the intention of writing a chorus, I feel that it could do with a regular section, even if it just a line at the end of verse just to give the listener something to recognize and use as a 'landmark' throughout the song. But hey, that's just an idea, it's fine as it is really! Great work!
#4
Thanks a lot man, I appreciate the input. You have anything I could critique in return?
#5
this is very good.
I do agree, it could use a chorus.
You write with a style that I really enjoy.