#1
Song I wrote today. The Core of whats wrong

These words could be fake
is this another mistake?
Is being wrong my defect?
This is the butterfly effect

Draw me in
Spit me out

You are the core of whats wrong
Every broken heart should sing along
This fear is never ending
Perpetual darkness, I am defending

Some scars will never heal
Dont know if I'll ever feel
Common sense is the illusion
Drowning in confusion

You are the core of whats wrong
Every broken heart should sing along
This fear is never ending
Perpetual darkness, I am defending

Is being wrong my defect?
This is the butterfly effect
Draw me in
Spit me out
... You are the core of whats wrong!
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky
#2
Quote by Bal_Sagoth
Song I wrote today. The Core of whats wrong

Love the title.

These words could be fake
is this another mistake?
Is being wrong my defect?
This is the butterfly effect

I usually don't like the use of the word 'fake' in songs, but that's just me. The ideas seem detatched.

Draw me in
Spit me out

An over used idea, but hey, not bad.

You are the core of whats wrong
Every broken heart should sing along
This fear is never ending
Perpetual darkness, I am defending

Again with the 'sing along' bit, I don't like it's use in songs... it's kind of like... if this is good, I will be. Shush. I love the first line drawing on the title though .

Some scars will never heal
Dont know if I'll ever feel
Common sense is the illusion
Drowning in confusion

Again with the scars thing...
Common sense line is good.


You are the core of whats wrong
Every broken heart should sing along
This fear is never ending
Perpetual darkness, I am defending

Is being wrong my defect?
This is the butterfly effect
Draw me in
Spit me out
... You are the core of whats wrong!




The ideas seem detatched in the first verse, and later on you kind of fail to draw them together with any kind of story line. It's like a statement such as 'I hate you' without any explanation as to why. Bearing that in mind, it's a very nice statement and as I said there are some great ideas in there, that I think deserve some better grounding. I'd take another look at it and try telling a bit of a story along with it, some more explanation .

Hope that was helpful.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!