#1
This is a song just written made for ska and pretty upbeat. I'd like any criticism you can give me so let me have it.

The intro is a capella with a few guitar hits on the first line.


Struggle

Back then it used to be about taking chances never asking
Pushing through these walls stacked with bricks that seem forever lasting
Fear of people taking action, fail at life its just a task
Make me struggle in the past so I just won't last

Its friends before fame but of course you're typical not the same
Took the advantage from the start seems that you'll never change
Ignorance is standard in this pitiful class of pampers
And these rights and paper bills in this bubble full of standards

We're not tryin to hide it anymore now you know we won't take this, NO MORE
We've heard too many lies all before we're coming out to settle, THIS SCORE

Beat down and trapped you know you can't get out, from the struggle
Losing sight of whats it about, constant juggle
I hold the cards that I am dealt but they're, always changing
Broken beaten and I JUST CAN'T WIN

Divide us if you want with social classes that disable us we're coming together to get this straight, you can't enable us
Greed and selfishness n its fight for the fame
Don't conform now thats just food for their game
Always clocking in n out with no help from each other
We gotta take a stand and love one an other
All these things aganst us that are bringing us down
I'm taking off the world that hugged my back now

We're not tryin to hide it anymore now you know we won't take this, NO MORE
We've heard too many lies all before we're coming out to settle, THIS SCORE

Beat down and trapped you know you can't get out, from the struggle
Losing sight of whats it about, constant juggle
I hold the cards that I am dealt but they're, always changing
Broken beaten and I JUST CAN'T WIN


Anything at all?
#2
its good, try to make a stanza about the same thing. 1 or 2 of the stanzas just seems like ur spiting out lines and it doesnt go good. but other than that, its sick
#3
Ye ah its hard to get out sometimes it has a certain flow that needs to be heard. Thanx a lot though I'm still working on it.