#1
Something i wrote in about 5 minutes. Constructive criticism please.


As the stormy wind drowns their calls
The human spirit trips and falls.

Their blood has pooled, formed its own entity.
It's asking for more, it wants you and me.

They've come to destroy everything, even our love.
Nothing can save you, not even from above.

So throw down your hope, throw down your dreams
They've come to destroy our world, right down the seams.
#2
i really like this in general, but there are a couple things that need help. one, i don't really think the fourth part about "they've come to destroy everything..." is good. change that. also, the very last line ("they've come to destroy our world...") is a little long and the rhythm is a little off, if you could change it to take out a few syllables, that would be great.

other than that, good work, i like it. i like how you rhymed dreams and seams.
Give Peace a Chance!